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The Funniest Teacher Jokes

Students and teachers alike will laugh at this list of teacher jokes, puns, and one-liners until they have to stay after the bell. Sharpen up your number 2 pencils, write your name on your Scantrons, and get ready for this hilarious list of jokes about teachers. 

If there’s one thing that we wish school had less of, it’s teachers. Well, we guess it would actually be homework, and then teachers – but you get it. In order to put them in their place, we created this list of jokes and silliness about their foibles and idiosyncrasies.

If you’re a teacher, we hope these jokes don’t hurt your feelings. After all, we’re just joshing. Those of us that have to put up with all your rules and homework need something to cut loose. We’re sure you can sympathize, and we know that you’ll have as much fun as the students when you read these teacher jokes. And if not, please don’t send us to the principal, we’re too pretty to survive in juvie.

1

  What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What’s the Difference Between a Teacher and a Train?  The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”

2

 Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher Fired?   Because they couldn’t control their pupils.

3

 What Do You Call a Teacher Wit... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Teacher Without Students?   Happy.

4

  Time Is a Great Teacher... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Time Is a Great Teacher…   Unfortunately it kills all its students.

5

 Why Did the Music Teacher Need... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Music Teacher Need a Ladder?   To reach the high notes!

6

  Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Teachers Fart in Class?   Because they’re not private tooters.

7

  Why Did the Teacher Jump into ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Jump into a Lake?   To test the waters!

8

  What's a Math Teacher'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What’s a Math Teacher’s Favorite Sum?    Summer!

9

  What's a Teacher's Fav... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What’s a Teacher’s Favorite Nation?     Expla-nation. 

10

  What Do You Say to Comfort a G... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Say to Comfort a Grammar Teacher?  “They’re, there, their.”

11

  Where Do Door Knockers Get Edu... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Do Door Knockers Get Educated?    The school of hard knocks.

12

  Where Does a Math Teacher Eat ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Does a Math Teacher Eat Dinner?    At a multiplication table!

13

  What Do You Get When You Cross... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Get When You Cross a Teacher and a Vampire?  Lots of blood tests.

14

  What Kind of Tests Do Witches ... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Tests Do Witches Take?    Hex-aminations.

15

  Why Did the Teacher Wear Sungl... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Wear Sunglasses in Class?     Because the class was so bright.

16

  What Kind of Food Do Math Teac... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Food Do Math Teachers Eat?    Square meals.

17

  What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What’s the Difference Between a Teacher and a Large Pizza?     A large pizza can feed a family of four.

18

  Why Did the Teacher Marry the ... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Marry the Janitor?    Because he swept her off her feet! 

19

  Why Wasn't the Geometry Te... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Wasn’t the Geometry Teacher at School?   Because they sprained their angle!

20

  What Do You Call a Music Teach... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Music Teacher with Problems?   A very trebled man. 

21

  How Does a Math Professor Prop... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Does a Math Professor Propose to His Fiance?     With a polynomial ring! 

22

  Why Do Chemistry Professors En... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Chemistry Professors Enjoy Teaching about Ammonia?   Because it’s basic material. 

23

  How Is a Teacher like a Judge? is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Is a Teacher like a Judge?    They both give out sentences.

24

  What Does a Math Teacher Do ab... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Does a Math Teacher Do about Constipation?   He works it out with a pencil.

25

  Why Did the Teacher Write on t... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Write on the Window?  Because the the lesson needed to be clear.

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