Sex in comic books can be a little deviant. Sometimes superhero sex stories are overt and freely depicted, but sometimes subtle innuendo is all the readers get. Even more difficult to glean sometimes is how those how comic book characters lost their virginity in the first place. It is hard to imagine, as some of these superheroes are likely bad in bed. How could anyone take Rogue’s V-Card without getting drained of life in every possible way? She would be quite a dangerous partner in the boudoir. But it happened, as it did for others.
Sometimes a character will have a sweet love story and lose their virginity in the most romantic way possible, like Aquaman. On the flip side, there are characters who lose their flower in some of the creepiest sex scenes imaginable. What follows are instances in which a character or two lose their virginity under some seriously suspect circumstances.
The Scarlet Witch And Quicksilver Partake In Forbidden Love
That’s right, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver straight up “Lannistered” all over the place. But it gets even worse. In this storyline, there’s a strong implication that Wolverine is their father, having slept with their mother around the same time Magneto did.
Well, during one of Wanda and Pietro’s dalliances, there’s a bestial man peeking through the bushes. That man may very well be the father of those twins engaging in… crimes of passion. His peep show is a little much, but… at least he looks angry about it?
Archangel Deflowered A Teen In Front Of Her Mom
Uncanny X-Men, indeed. 19-year-old Paige Guthrie, AKA Husk, loses her virginity to Archangel, who is likely in his 30s at the time. Inexplicably, this deflowering takes place in the air as a group of X-Men (and Guthrie’s mom!) look on in insufficient bemusement.
There’s just so much wrong with this, especially the lighthearted nature in which it’s depicted as if something like this is anything but horrific. In fact, it is one of many reasons why Chuck Austen’s run of Uncanny X-Men is not remembered fondly.
Hal Jordan Corrupts A Fellow, Younger Green Lantern
Hal Jordan sleeps with a fellow Green Lantern named Arisia, an elf-like alien woman who doted over him for quite some time. That sounds fine, right? Well, when she was doing all that doting, she was actually a child – something comparable to a 14-year-old human (though she looked even younger) – and through her desire to be with Hal, she subconsciously used the power of her ring to age rapidly into a grown-ass woman.
Hal took note of that and slept with her not long after.
Wolverine May Have Taken Squirrel Girl’s Virginity When She Was Just A Teen
There is a lot of debate as to whether or not a very adult Wolverine was physically intimate with the teenaged Squirrel Girl, but even the suggestion is a bit off-putting. In Wolverine #8, there is a sequence in which a buxom Squirrel Girl hangs out in Logan’s psychic sex dungeon.
Later, in New Avengers #7, Squirrel Girl is babysitting for Luke Cage and Jessica Jonas. When Wolverine walks in, the moment is tense. Wolverine says, “I thought we agreed never to see each other again,” suggesting that something happened between the two. While Wolverine may have simply been fantasizing about his teenage colleague, some argue the two did the dirty, and that it was Squirrel Girl’s first time.
Superman Lost His Virginity As A Kid To A Brainwashed Girl
There’s a messed up 1977 Superman tale: DC Super-Stars Giant #12, “Don’t Call Me Superboy.” In this crazy adventure, Kal-El’s robot teacher from Krypton arrives on Earth and puts Clark through a series of tests. After one of Clark’s classmates, Misty, learns of his identity, they sleep together. Shortly thereafter, however, she is killed by MARAUDING SASQUATCHES.
Clark is enraged, on the verge of killing one of the Bigfoots, but he stops because he does not kill. And that was the final test. The Kryptonian robot teacher appears to praise Kal-El for not killing and reveals that Misty was actually from a neighboring town; this robot took her and brainwashed her so he could manufacture this love affair with Clark. Fortunately, Misty wasn’t actually killed (though she did unwittingly sleep with a man), and Clark actually bumps into her on a plane years later on which she’s a flight attendant.
This story is often overlooked because it’s assumed Clark is a virgin before Lois, but if this is canon, he most certainly was not.
Saturn Girl Drunkenly Lost Her V-Card And Wiped The Memory Of Her Lover
When a friend sacrifices her life to save Saturn Girl, AKA Imra Ardeen, she’s devastated. Her fellow Legion member Cosmic Boy, AKA Rokk Krinn, knows the only cure is a stiff drink. Well, there are more drinks and more stiffness than either planned and the two end up losing their virginity to one another. One could argue that Rokk took advantage of her in her emotional state, but they did have a pre-existing romance, so that’s not really the problem with this tryst.
No, the really messed up part takes place when Saturn Girl wakes up in the morning with a clear head and realizes what happened. She is immediately regretful, fearing the implications for the team, so she wipes Rokk’s memory. That’s the messed up part.
At A Young Age, Dick Grayson Was A Victim Of Corporate Sabotage
A character simply named Liu was trying to weasel her way into Wayne Technologies to steal corporate secrets, and what better way to do that than through a 16-year-olds pants? We know that when she seduces Dick Grayson, AKA Nightwing, he’s only 16.
Though we never learn her actual age, it’s clear that she’s much older.
Storm And T’Challa Lost Their Virginity At Age 12
In his early teens, T’Challa – the Crown Prince of Wakanda – went into the wilderness in a rite of passage called a “walkabout.” Out there he met the young Ororo Munroe, who would later become a member of the X-Men known as Storm. The two quickly fell in love and lost their virginity to one another, and even went on to get married.
It seems like a sweet story, but that’s not quite the case. While they look like teens, later issues of Black Panther reveal that they were both only 12 at the time.
Colossus Had A Threesome And Conceived A Child
It happened in the Savage Land. Not long after Marvel artists started drawing Colossus alongside the X-Men, he was given quite the story to brag about. In the Savage Land – a place where dinosaurs roam and pink people fight to stay alive – Colossus rescued Nereel from a T-Rex, and to show her gratitude, she invited a friend to assist her in stealing Piotr Rasputin’s innocence.
So it was that Colossus lost his virginity to two pink ladies with mohawks and fathered an illegitimate son. Fortunately for Colossus, Marvel seemed to think this was a mistake, too, so Piotr’s son Peter (weird name, relatively speaking) made very few appearances, and his father never even learned of his existence.
Did Writer Warren Ellis Vicariously Sleep With Kitty Pryde?
Pete Wisdom is an MI:6 agent to whom Kitty Pryde of the X-Men loses her virginity. On the surface, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this as Pryde is an adult, but it becomes murkier when the author of the story is considered.
As Cyriaque Lamar of i09 points out, Ellis has a history of creating characters in his image, like Spider Jerusalem, Elijah Snow, or William Gravel. “Wisdom is the archetypal, cigarette-chomping comic manifestation of Ellis’ psyche,” wrote Lamar. So if Kitty Pryde lost her virginity to Pete Wisdom, and Wisdom is a representation of Warren Ellis, then, according to the transitive property, Pryde lost her virginity to Ellis.
Rogue Lost Her Virginity Via Retcon
This one is just a weird creative choice that never had to happen. The Sentry was a character created for the pages of X-Men specifically because that group always seemed to have serious continuity issues (how fitting that the movies reflect that, advertently or not).
Basically, The Sentry is just a walking retcon, expositing his way through the X-Men tales to shore up any details. In The Sentry: Fallen Sun, the character dies and a funeral is held for him at which there’s a pretty serious reveal. At one point in the proceedings, Rogue breaks down and runs off, unable to watch this. The next panel shows a comically hushed conversation between Johnny Storm and Cyclops, revealing that Rogue is so upset because she holds a special place in her heart for The Sentry as she lost her virginity to him. Uh, what?
What in the name of Blob is the purpose of a) Casually revealing that Rogue randomly lost her virginity to some guy; b) Deciding to have Rogue lose her virginity to such a lamentable character; and c) Doing the reveal with Rogue not even in the panel?
All of it is quite inexplicable and seems utterly pointless… mostly because it is utterly pointless.