Don’t let these SPOILERS ruin this episode for you. Come back when you have watched The Walking Dead’s Season 7 premiere and possibly had a good long cry or found that damn axe.
How you doing? You okay, buddy? The craziest things that happened in The Walking Dead’s Season 7 premiere started with the death of Abraham and was quickly followed by Glenn’s equally brutal death. Seriously, WTF? Some pretty insane moments from the Season 7 premiere of The Walking Dead.
Walking Dead comic book fans already know Negan makes the Governor look like a sweetheart. He takes his code seriously, and he’s brutal. He’s got the leather jacket, he’s got the baseball bat named after his wife, and he tells jokes while he bashes in the heads of our favorite characters. He’s also going to be the most hated character on TV this year and may hold that title for some time.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan is already laughing so your hate is wasted on the veteran actor who’s been Edward Blake in Watchmen, Denny Duquette on Grey’s Anatomy, and Sam and Dean’s pop on Supernatural. Seriously, save it. Morgan lives for this sh*t.
Watching Glenn and Abraham get beaten to death was one of the most insane moments in the premiere of The Walking Dead. It also made us scream, cry, vomit, do several shots, and run around in circles yelling “Why, Walking Dead writer’s room, why?!” At this point, fans weren’t willing to say goodbye to ANY of these characters, much less lose TWO of them in one fell swoop. Well, several swoops.
But Glenn?! Not Glenn! We knew Glenn died in #100 of the comics. We saw him fake die in the summer of 2015. But this? With his dying murmur saying, “Maggie, I will find you.” Abraham also died in the comics, but watching it happen onscreen? We are not okay. Far from okay.
Showrunner Scott Gimple tweeted out on the day of the premiere, “2nite, we at The Walking Dead program present a season’s start that we’ve spent literal & figurative blood, sweat, and tears on. Do watch.” Well, Scott. It rained in LA, and that should be a sign that you should not mess with the story gods. Be afraid, Gimple. Be very afraid.
Did those wild Walking Dead scenes in Season 7 make up for that cheap trick of a cliffhanger at the end of Season 6? We’ll let you know once we come out of the fetal position and learn how to feel again.
Negan Kills Abraham and, Man, Do We Hate Negan’s Guts
Showrunner Scott Gimple said that the Season 7 premiere deaths would have meaning and purpose. Look, most of us guessed it was Abraham and possibly another character, mostly Glenn. Still, being right has never felt so awful.
Glenn Died All Over Again
They actually recreated the death of Glenn in the #100 edition of comics after Glenn’s cheap, dead-but-not-dead demise in the summer of 2015. At the end of the first half hour of the Season 7 premiere, we had to relive that death once again, bulging eyeball and all. WTF?! On one hand, well done, Greg Nicotero and team. On the other, what the f*ck?!
The Scene We Cannot Bring Ourselves to Deal with Yet
Maggie, “I need to do this, please.” Aaron, “We need to help you. Please let us.” Rick, “He’s our family, too.” Us: “That’s a nope for a while.”
No, Seriously, Abraham and Glenn Are Freaking Dead?!
We were warned and even had a year to prepare but, it’s just not okay. It’s not okay.
“Get Me My Axe, Let’s Be Friends”
Rick is dragged away by Negan and expected to fetch his axe. Also, did Negan just create a new super villain in Rick? Negan, man. You messed up.
Rick Loses a Hand in the Comics, Is Faced with Cutting Off His Son’s Hand in the Show
With Rick having to choose, Carl has more b*lls than ever, saying, “Just do it, dad.” Let’s all get up off Carl now, okay guys. He’s going to ruin Negan, given the chance. RUIN him.
Rick Loses His Will
Negan wanted that look. After killing Abraham and Glenn and then threatening Carl. Negan got it. For now.
Glenn’s Last Words
With his head caved in, Glenn tells his pregnant wife, “Maggie, I will find you.” Damn, Steven Yeun.
Norman Reedus’s Real-Life Son Is Not Happy
Mingus Reedus texted his father just after seeing the Season 7 premiere, “Not cool, man. Not cool at all. Craziest television I’ve ever seen. Tell Jeffrey he’s an a**hole.” Meaning Daryl’s outburst got Glenn killed. Thanks, Dad. Cue an awkward holiday season for the Reedus family.
Negan Maybe Just Created Several New Serial Killers
And we thought it was just Carl who was a little bit crazy. Daryl? You just wait, son. Rosita? Just give her an in. Sasha? Check. Eugene? I’ll kill you with sorghum of all things. Maggie? You better find a new patch of land to live on, far far away. Rick? Wait for the season finale, fool.
That Last Supper
With all of the people we’ve lost, seeing Maggie and Glenn’s kid sitting on Glenn’s lap was a cheap shot. Really? You know what, Negan? We’ll save a place for you at our own table. Pass the Colt Python.
Micheal Cudlitz Knew It, Gives Last Heartbreaking Gesture to Co-Star
Diehard fans of The Walking Dead kind of figured Abraham would be the brave warrior heading into the good night. And we knew we’d feel it hard core. He made us miss him even more with that last peace sign to Sasha. Damn, Michael Cudlitz.
He showed up at the Season 7 premiere on Talking Dead with a cigar and a flask. Raise a glass, Abe/Mike.