Of all possible awkward occasions, awkward bikini wax moments probably induce the most cringing. Anyone who’s endured a wax themselves knows how strange it can get. Waxes already bring about some awkwardness—you’ve got your genitals on show to a stranger in all their overgrown glory. But you add the possibility for every single bodily fluid under the sun to get involved and things can get pretty ugly. At the very least, it’s minorly uncomfortable for everyone involved. At its worst, it’s total carnage.
These bikini wax horror stories come straight from Reddit, where bikini waxers themselves bare it all, no pun intended. If you ever wanted to ask your waxer in the middle of a session what their worst day at work was, but felt too embarrased to ask, Reddit has you covered. Poop, tampons, and just plain screaming bloody murder—bikini waxers have seen it all.
Get Home To Her Dad
When I was in beauty college, I had an obese woman come in for a Brazilian. As she was paying for it, (payment first, service after) xhe mentioned that her father was paying for this. Okay, no big deal, my dad gives me money for pedicures and I use it to wax my legs on occasion instead, so he probably doesn’t know specifically what she’s doing.
As we walk back to the wax room, she continues talking about her dad paying and how he prefers that she gets this done. Uh okay, so he knows…whatever.
She immediately yanked off her pants and panties and jumped on the bed. I had to ask her to get up so in order for me to wipe it down and put down paper. When she got up there was already a sweat mark on the leather. I gave her some wipes and asked that she clean the area as best she can. I caught a glimpse of the towels and they were gold from I’m assuming not drinking enough water, causing her urine stains to be super dark. The whole process took an hour, due to stopping between flaps, changing gloves and the occasional gag. Her go-to conversation topic was how I should get with a black man, why hot Cheetos with hot nacho cheese was a amazing midnight snack, and how she can’t wait to get home to her dad. I’m still confused over the entire thing.
When I was doing his (yes his) assh*le, he clenched and accidentally projectile-sprayed little bits of pooat me.
Was There An Accident?
As an esthetician, honestly everyone’s junk starts to kind of look the same. I have waxed many obese people, and honestly its not the biggest deal, larger people tend to deal with the pain better and for that reason are easier to wax.
The worst story I have is probably the second Brazilian wax I ever did, while I was still learning in school. At school, the public can come in for services at a low rate with the understanding that the person working on them is still a beginner. This attracts some weirdos.
This woman who came in tried to get me to give her a Brazilian wax while she was on her period. Normally if the client is wearing a tampon, this can be done without issue: not this time.
I left the room to allow the woman to put on the disposable underwear and lie down on the bed. When I came back, the disposables, the paper on the table, and her own hands were soaked with blood. Naturally, I kind of freaked out and asked if she had been injured.
“Oh don’t be silly, it’s just a little mess.”
That’s right, this is what she said to me.
Luckily we have the right to refuse services and I was able to get an instructor to come in and explain to this woman why this wasn’t going to be able to happen today and to rebook for another day. She seemed confused and surprised, but left without a fuss and I luckily was never booked with her again.
My girl just told me this story about a client she had yesterday. I was literally cringing in awkwardness as she told me the story.
The woman was 58-years-old, short hair and married, with a concerned look on her face. My girlfriend told her to get ready and that she will be back in a few minutes, then asked her if something troubled her.
Woman: “I just have one thing to say first…any bruises you see are totally consensual.”
Girlfriend (GF): “Uh, okay.”
The entire time my GF waxed her body, the woman decided she would continue discussing her bruising. Other such statements made by the lady during the waxing/sugaring:
“My husband really gave it to me last night…he was just pounding away.”
“How many bruises are down there? Can you count them?”
“Oh man my butt must be really bruised, it hurts the worst.”
“I am going to be so much worse after tonight.”
Does He Have To Watch?
I was never an esthetician but I worked in a salon where this happened.
This one lady came in, loudly asking the front desk staff and other customers details of the Brazilian treatment, and sharing her personal experience with laser hair removal down there. You could tell she weirding everyone out. When the esthetician came in, she was sitting on the bench butt naked. Her boyfriend/hubby/whatever was in the room as well and she said he “had to be there to watch.” He stood there silently watching the entire 45-minute long appointment. When they left they were sure to tell everyone how they were going to “enjoy the fresh wax tonight.”
Just A Bit Of Paint Cleaner
My bikini waxer lady told me a horrific story from her worst waxing experience. At the very first salon where she was hired, somebody filled the calming aloe vera spray bottle with an industrial strength paint cleaner used to clean hair dye stains from the floor. They did not label the bottle and she then sprayed it on a customer that just got a fresh Brazilian wax. The customer started complaining and an ambulance was called. Ouch!
A Rogue Tampon
A friend of mine was in beauty school in the middle of her practical exams, where she would wax whoever the clients were that day; once done they would mark her out of ten for stuff like quality of the job, etc.
She had a woman come in, told her to drop her pants, hop on the table, and get ready. She put the first strip on, smoothed down, and..
As she tore the strip off, it went flying from her hand and stuck to the wall, spider-leg hair poking out from the sides, and a tampon hanging from the bottom.
Both of their jaws dropped, and she left the room so the woman could sort herself out. She came back, finished off, certain of her failure.
Perfect 10/10 on everything.
The “Parts Down Below” Got Ripped Too
I’m a big hairy dude, and had to get waxed for charity last year. The wax was really viscous and when they were doing the strip down past my belly-button tons of it went down past my waistband and into my pubes. I was too embarrassed to say anything, and when they ripped it off the parts down below got ripped too and I don’t think I’ve ever roared as loud.
My waxing lady told me about a woman who use to come to her. For religious reasons she had to get her body waxed before her period every month.
Clearly this woman wasn’t the best with dealing with pain because she would scream bloody murder, hysterically crying and flapping about like a mad woman. And it wasn’t just her lady bits, every time she would get a whole body wax! Her screaming was so loud and so crazy that people would call mall security; once even the police turned up. But still without fail she would be back every month for her next round of torture.
I used to get my balls waxed, until I one time where everything just went wrong.
First, I needed to use the bathroom. After I was done and tried to flush, it got clogged up. God bless the waxer, she came in and unclogged it for me.
Then it got to the actual waxing. There was blood, and pain. I was recovering from drug addiction (oxy) and was extra sensitive to pain.
After I got smooth, I went to get myself redressed. As I grabbed my pants, my pocketknife fell out, opened itself, and almost stabbed my poor waxer in the foot.
I ended up tipping that woman all the money and had and never returned.
Your Ass Is Like A Rainforest
I’m at my favorite tattoo parlor with my favorite artist, and we are jamming out. He’s doing a piece on my butt but we’re at ease with each other. I’m getting the Bender butt tattoo from Futurama and the artist’s apprentice is in the room. There are no doors here so people walk by and take a glance, offering comments along the lines of “awesome man” and “looks great.”
A girl in scrubs walks by takes a long look then walks away. I think nothing of it, until she walks back, handing a business card to the apprentice and making some pointing motion. He taps me on the back and hands me the card.
It’s some kind of spa with her name and number. I look at her and she says “I offer waxing, if you ever need one.” Confused, I ask why and she replies with “Your ass is like the rainforest, you could use one and it would look sexy,” then walks away.
I look at my artist and asked what just happened, unsure if I just got hit on or got a business pitch. Also my ass is not that hairy so I was quite confused.
Hot Wax And Hotter Tears
I’m not a waxer, but the first time I got a Brazilian, the girl asked me if I wanted my ass waxed and I was like ‘Sure, why not?’
So, she starts and asks me to spread my cheeks and I guess I get nervous or have a very sensitive/ticklish butt because I could not stop laughing, maniacally giggling as she smoothed me out. Tears were coming out of my eyes.
She had to stop and wait until I calmed down. The second she would start again, I’d start giggling like an idiot again.
It Is You!
I get a Brazilian every four-five weeks with the same girl (usually) and I missed a few with her due to scheduling and vacation. Well, the next time I went in, I had a different hair color (it’s a normal color now as opposed to a streak of pink before). She didn’t ask me about school at all, or my life like normal, which I thought was weird but just figured it had been awhile.
I take my pants off and hop up on the table with my legs in the weird frog position and she goes “Oh, it is you! I wasn’t sure because your hair but I recognized your piercing!”
Friends With (Waxing) Benefits
I had a friend who wanted to get a full Brazilian wax. Having all just started college and were making new friends, another girl expressed interest as well. They went together and found a cheap place.
As the story goes, the place didn’t do the full job for liabilities and my friend was unable to wax herself down there. Without skipping a beat, the other girl jumped in waxed my friend’s box with zero f*cks given. They had maybe known each other for days days.
They continued to be good friends all through university after a bonding experience like that.