Discover Empathy for Your Partner
Strap on the heaviest fake pregnancy belly, tie on the silicone boobs, put on five pairs of socks and squeeze into your shoes, and then walk the dog. You’ll have a lot more respect for your pregnant lady.
When all of those suckers are preparing for their beach body, you’ll be working on your Kim K. Pizza, beer, whole pies… nothing can stop you now. And no one can say a word.
Get Out of Those Awful Work Meetings to Pee
No one is ever going to tell a pregnant woman she cannot pee. You’re sitting there, super fake pregnant, all large and clearly in distress. You can get up any time you want. Take that, Jared from accounting and his boring Power Point presentation!
Get Paid Maternity Leave
Haven’t had a vacation in years? Boss is a jerk? Start packing on the pounds and then slip into your Fabric Fake Pregnancy Belly 38 Weeks Stage. Waddle your way into a long, relaxing vacation to Cancun where you will have to live because if you’re found out, you’ll have to hide there.
Get a Comfy Spot on the Train or Bus
As one woman in Japan found out, you can get a pretty sweet seat on public transport. But make sure you’re fake pregnancy belly is secured, otherwise your stomach will hit the floor and then your ride is over. Womp womp.
Make That Snooty Cousin Super Jealous
Look at her with her brood, living in her perfect house, baking cookies, and enjoying a life with her gorgeous husband. Well, two can play at that game. Make it known that you’ve got some news and keep touching your super flat stomach until five months of dropping hints on your Facebook page and then WHAMMO! Show up to one of her snooty, perfect BBQs all glowy and refuse the mimosas. That’ll show her… that you need help.
Get Bumped Up to First Class
This one is dicey. You’ll have to use at least the 32 to 36 week Silicone Fake Pregnancy Belly and study the trends of certain frequent flyers. If you’re on a flight of nice people, you may be able to weasel your way into first class or at the very least, behind the bulkhead. But people are selfhish so pregnant women don’t normally get special treatment in this situation. Maybe a large church group or some Swedes?
Go Full Psycho
After you’ve used all of the products on the fakeababy.com site from the initial fake pregnancy test to the full-on fake boobs and belly, hire a series of actors to play your child from birth to 40. People will be talking about it for years.
Actually Prank People
Taking the lightheartedness of a fake pregnancy prank to actual heart, there are some situations where this is actually funny. But mostly not.
Find Out If He Really Loves You
Sure, you could establish open communication and trust, or you could just spring a fake pregnancy test on him. Fakeababy.com not only provides fake pregnancy bellies, they also sell heart stopping, love-killing positive pregnancy sticks. He did have all of those weird texts on his phone. He deserved it, right?
Get More Dates. Solution: Fake Silicone Pregnancy Boobs
There’s a healthy interest for round, curvy ladies who may or may not be pregnant. The Fake Silicone Boobs from fakeababy.com gives you center stage at least until someone sees you doing shot in a bar. Some people are into that, though.
Squeeze Some Gifts Out of Those Stingy Relatives
Aunt Margaret is always giving you those See Rock City coasters she finds in the sale bin every year for Christmas. By taking a page out of the fake pregnancy prank notebook of teens across America, all you need to do is strap on your Silicone Fake Pregnancy Belly for Twins and wipe that discount smirk right off her face. Literally shower in baby shower gifts. Which you will need to sell in order to hire an attorney in case someone sues you.
Get on Springer or Maury
Missed your shot at fame? There’s at least 15 minutes waiting on you if you craft the perfect story (with the help of a writer you find on fakeawritingcareer.com), disappear for a few months, and then turn up with a tale riddled with holes but enough believability to bring in ratings. Thanks, fakeababy.com.
Get Chauffeured Around
Take a break from driving and get all the rides you need. With a super fake pregnancy belly (try the 32 to 36 weeks model) and fake boobs, you can guilt your driver all the way to the mall and back for months.
Triple the Baby Shower Gifts
Announce that you were wrong about having twins and that the latest (fake) sonogram showed a THIRD baby! IT’S A (LIE) MIRACLE!
Be the Devil, Make Real Pregnant Women Feel Bad About Themselves
After you’ve delivered your fake baby and he’s off with the Brazilian nanny on one adventure after another, whip off your fake pregnancy belly where you have been hiding a hard body. Go to work looking healthy and rested. Hopefully you will not be burned at the stake.
Go for the Oscar, Get the Fake Ultrasound
If only Glenn Closes’s character in Fatal Attraction could have had access to this site or the internet, she would have made sure Michael Douglas was so far up sh*t creek, Ann Archer would have needed a helicopter to pluck him out of it.
Fakeababy.com’s Ultra Fake Ultrasound Designs will make him think twice about ever trusting another human being again.
Get That Child Support, Girl
So the baby is not his but that is not stopping you from getting that monthly check. Fakeababy.com has a Fake DNA Test Laboratory Style that might even fool a judge. Joke’s on the kid, right?