23 Toys That Prove Your Parents Didn’t Love You

UPVOTE THE TOYS YOU DISLIKED. Yeah yeah, I know, a lot of people couldn’t afford a lot of things. And of course, your parents loved you. But sometimes you just need stuff to be good. And when it comes to building spaceships, drawing, and even playing with action figures, you didn’t want them falling apart after a few hours of play. But if you were under tight circumstances and had frugal parents, you were forced to live this life. The title of the list is obviously a joke, but when you were at that age, it sure as hell felt like your parents were giving you the worst crap in the world on purpose, as some kind of weird, Guantanamo-esque punishment. Kids are jerks. But all these choices are spot on.

Remember Christmas morning when you woke up totally pumped to dig in to your stocking only to realize it was filled with socks and crumbly white Russel Stover candies that weren’t even a good imitation of the chocolate Santas all your friends were getting? This is a sure sign that your parents were cheap. Or didn’t love you. One, the other, both. Point is, there were many of us in the ’80s and ’90s who were unaware (or at least in denial) of the fact that our parents were passing off cheap toys as what are now theĀ most nostalgia-inducing toys of the ’80sĀ andĀ the best toys of the ’90s.

As an adult, you’ve likely figured out that your parents were holding back on the good toys. Now, it’s not like you didn’t have fun with Tiger handheld games with its players that only moved in two directions, but dammit, now that you know there are kids out there drawing pictures with crayons not covered in a thick layer of wax (I hate you with the passion of a thousand wax-addled suns, RoseArt), aren’t you a little pissed your parents couldn’t be bothered to spend the extra $.50 and get Crayola? Clearly I’m not…

If you say to yourself, “hey, my parents loved me and bought me really cool stuff,” then go through this list of toys that prove your parents were cheap and see EVERY toy you ever owned, you may be blissfully unaware of your parents penny-pinching ways when it came to toys. Sorry to burst your bubble. But hey, look at all the this fun you’re having reminiscing about your crappy childhood toys! And this list is free! Your parents would be so proud.

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