38 Drunk Texts You Wish You Got

Is there anything more delightful than waking up on a Saturday morning, looking at your phone, and thinking “wow, look at all these drunk texts I sent last night!” Though there are likely a few regrettable texts sent to your ex, mixed in with the horror are likely all kinds of funny drunk texts for which your friends will forever thank you (and never let you live down). The best of these have been archived forever throughout the Internet, as these screenshots of drunk texts from last night show. The best drunk texts and funny drunk text messages are full of autocorrects, typos, interesting emoji choices, and all around hilarity ranging from kittens to dance moves, to Flo Rida. There is also no shortage of people who tie one on and spill their guts. Some profess their undying love, while others just need to know there’s someone out there who cares, and will hopefully pick them up as they aren’t really sure how to get home right now.

Ready to Party, but Nowhere to Go

Dragons LOVE Goose Water

Okay, but What if He Really Was the Batman?

Jason Bourne Stars in The Drunk Identity

Check out what happens to these drunk people when they pass out. Insanity ensues!

When Fanboys Drink

Mom Always Makes Confessions After Some Chardinay

Can’t See the Forest for the Alcohol

Kitten Is a Great Code Name for Beer Actually

Is “Too Funk” Really a Problem?

It’s Like Drinking in a Bad ’80s Movie

Here’s Hoping We All Find the Sweetest Candything in Our Lives

Now That’s Commitment!

The Morning After Makes You Do Strange Things

Birds of a Feather Drunk Text Together

Face it, Young Slut, Your Mom Is Cooler Than You

A God Among Drunks

When Your Legs Feel Good, YOU Feel Good

Don’t We All?

Truth or Drunk?

You Sober? Beause I’m Flies!

Bit the Nail… Outside the Bun

I Shall Sing You the Song of My Loins

Who Doesn’t Want to Come Back as a Dolphin?

“Nah Scrot Ja” Is Definitely German

What DOES This Person Malean?

Are You Trying to Tell Us You Want Oysters?

Oh, it Will Probably Come to Concussions Eventually

Is Ditcion The Next Big Thing in the Bitcoin World?

Captured on Camera for Posterity

Totes Goaded Mirite?

“I Miss You” Is a Great Joke Apparently

The Truth About Pocahontas Finally Comes Out

An Urgent Message for Janey/James

Spirits of Argon Must Be the Coolest New Cocktail

We Should All Have as Much Fum as This Mom

Can DJs Ever Handle Drunk Moms, Though?

Isn’t Riven River a Location in Game of Thrones?