The Best Accounting Jokes

It’s hard to think of a group of people that seem to be more boring than accountants, but if these accounting jokes are anything to judge by, they might be more fun than the world has given them credit for. When people think of math they don’t immediately go to accounting humor but after reading this list of funny accounting jokes you’ll never make that mistake again. Maybe you can even use some of these good accounting jokes the next time you pay a visit to your CPA – you might even get a discount if you make them laugh! These about accounting are sure to lift your spirits whether or not it’s tax season, so take a break from your day and get your laugh on.

Accountants, actuaries, and economists – they may sound like a dreary group of people, but after reading this list of accountant puns and jokes you’ll rethink your whole idea of someone who works with numbers. After all, don’t you think you’d like to unwind after a long day of crunching numbers? And what better way to let your hair down than telling some good clean jokes about accountants. For an extra special bonus, run some of these accountant jokes by any of your money minded friends at your next ice cream social and see if you can get them laughing. Vote on your favorite jokes about accounting, and if you have some cute accounting jokes in your abacus then feel free to leave them in the comments.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
Depreciation.

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep what does she say?
“Darling, tell me about your work.”

What did the accountant say when he got a blank check?
My deductions have at last caught up with the salary.

What did the accountant say when he looked at the tax form?
The man who set the standard deduction must have been a bachelor. I am lying when I am listing myself as a head of household.

Why the accountant started smoking?
So he can deduct cigarettes from his income tax. Called it loss by fire. So his medical expenses went above the 71/2% threshold.

How does an accountant stay out of debt?
He learns to act his wage.

Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t budget so he had to work it out with paper and pencil.

Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
The accountant is $1 million shy and hence is retiring.