Categories: FunnyJokes

The Best Winter Jokes

A list of winter ! Winter truly is the most wonderful time of the year. A time when it’s perfectly acceptable to bundle up in a pea coat with a fifty-foot Doctor Who scarf and a mug of hot cider to get warm and push your way through the snow covered crowds to buy a gift for your sweetie. Anyway, these are the funniest winter jokes to warm up those funny bones.

Jingle bells, singing carolers, and a roaring fire, all of those things are the sound of winter, but more than any of those (yes, even the carolers) the sound of laughter is the best part of winter. Check out these funny winter jokes and you’ll be on board…snowboard that is. The jokes on this list are some of the funniest jokes about winter that you’ve ever heard, try any of these at your next holiday party and you’ll be the Emperor of Winter! If you’re looking for a fun way to pass the time in a winter storm, look no further, this list of winter jokes will keep you laughing all through the night.

  1. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy.
  2. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite
  3. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?… A cookie sheet!
  4. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle!
  5. How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you.
  6. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Answer: Brrrr- itos.
  7. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash!
  8. Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.
  9. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes!
  10. Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball!
  11. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes!
  12. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
  13. What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out.
  14. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell.
  15. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots?
  16. Knock Knock…Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?…  Snow business like show business !
  17. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
  18. What do snowmen wear on their heads?… Ice caps!
  19. What’s an ig?… An eskimo’s home without a loo!
  20. What do snowmen eat for lunch?… Icebergers!
  21. Where do snowmen go to dance?… Snowballs!
  22. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!
  23. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?… You wake up wet!
  24. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite!
  25. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
  26. How do you scare a snowman?… You get a hairdryer!
  27. What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
  28. What do you call a snowman in the summer?… A puddle!
  29. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?… An ice burger with chili sauce.
  30. What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld Fang Syne!
  31. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?… Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
  32. How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
  33. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?… They wear snowcaps.
  34. What did the snowman say to the customer?… Have an ice day!
  35. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke!
  36. Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
  37. Where does a polarbear keep its money?… In a snow bank!
  38. What do you call a snowman in the desert?… A puddle!
  39. How does an Eskimo stick his house together?… With igloo!
  40. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snowbody!
  41. What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?… Polaroids!
  42. Why did the snowman want a divorce?… Because he thought his wife was a flake
  43. Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?…  When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.
  44. Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?… The outside!
  45. What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?… Leeks!
  46. What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?… “Dam!”
  47. What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?… Cold cream.
  48. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?… no eyed deer.
  49. What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?… The crack of dawn!
  50. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!

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