If there’s anything that the ’80s gave us, it was gratuitous nudity in just about every single teen comedy that came out. In honor of that tradition, here are the best ’80s teen comedy nude scenes of all time, ranked by you for hotness. You might also be interested in movies with unexpected nude scenes and a list of actors who have done full frontal.
I described the movies, the context of the nude scenes, and then linked you out to the scenes when possible (although you can totally just Google all of them). From Phoebe Cates in Fast Times, to lesser-known gems like Hardbodies and Malibu Express, to even scenes from actually-good movies like Sixteen Candles, these are the greatest nude scenes in ’80s teen comedy history. Legendary naked movie scenes!
I don’t have to tell you what this movie is about (it’s easily one of the best stoner movies of all time) and you know exactly what scene I’m talking about. If you don’t, then here it is. That’s Phoebe Cates.
She married to Kevin Klein, looks like this now, and is one of the hottest, if not the hottest girl the ’80s had to offer. And she took her clothes off every chance she got, all over the place, non-stop. The ’80s were a great place to live because everything was exactly ten million times cheesier since self-awareness hadn’t been invented yet.
And, to repeat, Phoebe Cates in her teens/20s was one of the greatest parts of the ’80s. She tops every one of these lists and with great reason. The mix of innocence and mischief in her eyes in every scene just steals the entire movie every time.
This movie has all of the tropes of a teen comedy, but happens to center around a clumsy guy trying to bang a young Kelly Preston, so pretty much everyone’s on board from the beginning. Because a young Kelly Preston is stupid hot. Like, stupid hot.
A young Kelly Preston is in lace lingerie (’80s lingerie is so weird) while the guy slowly undresses her. He takes off her bra, and you can seriously hear a football stadium full of dudes just cheering their asses off. She pulls off her underwear and boom, full frontal Kelly Preston, who then lies down and makes out with the guy for a few minutes. They have sex and it’s awesome. He promises to “pull out”, then doesn’t; but whatever, it’s the ’80s so it wasn’t a big deal, if the rest of this list has taught us all anything.
Phoebe Cates tries to score a really WASPy rich dude while this one girl teases everyone in the movie. Shower scenes happen.
Some more dudes spy on a girl when she thinks she’s safe and take pictures with the flash turned off. They use a polaroid, which was common then, but today would be a hipster thing to do. She notices them in the mirror and decides to give them a show until they pull her towel off. Weirdly, nobody gets arrested and the girls aren’t even super freaked out or anything, but actually kind of happy about it for some reason. Phoebe Cates is in her underwear throughout.
The female lead in the movie is former Betsy Russell who spends the whole time teasing dudes. She also rides a horse topless while older women shoot her disapproving looks. People then go nuts as there are apparently, once again, no nudity laws in public in the ‘80s.
I could not have watched this movie more as a kid. And if I had managed that, I’m sure my parents would have sent me to some kind of psychiatrist (which, in retrospect, would have been a good decision, which means that yes, all kids should watch this movie at least 50 times).
The movie is about a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise as a teenager who tries to have some fun while his parents are away. Everything is prim and proper and perfect in his home, but as soon as they leave, you get that infamous scene of him dancing in his underwear indoors pretending to be a rockstar, which to some kids, will resonate more if I say “like that Heidi Klum Guitar Hero (RIP) commercial where she dances in her underwear in a living room.
He proceeds to meet this vaguely Russian woman, played by an at-the-time-still-relevant Rebecca De Mornay, who treats him like crap, but has sex with him throughout the entire movie. She’s the one you see naked all over the place the entire time. They make it seem so cool that it kinda makes you want a dangerous, unstable, emotionally unavailable blonde woman of your very own. Wait what? Oh my god. This explains a lot. (This explains a lot.) But life-changing revelations aside, the scenes are pretty awesome. Repeatedly. All the time. The train scene (where they have sex on a train) is particularly something that was etched into my brain as a wee lad, because I couldn’t believe how poorly maintained the lights were on that thing. It was very irresponsible.
A 1%er (Dan Aykroyd) trades places with a homeless guy (Eddie Murphy) trade places because two rich old guys make a bet about how it will turn out. Hilarity ensues, and Jamie Lee Curtis takes her top off.
Jamie Lee Curtis plays a prostitute who seems smarter than any other woman in the movie. She lets Dan Aykroyd stay at her place in exchange for, you guessed it, money once he’s rich again. The scene where she’s changing and casually walks around topless showed everyone that at some point, Jamie Lee Curtis was super hot. Even with that hair.
A Tom Hanks movie where a bunch of rowdy 80s dudes throw their best friend a bachelor party. It seriously is one of the top 10 movie parties I wish I could have been to.
Tom Hanks tries to get away from all the rowdy dudes when Monique Gabrielle comes out from behind curtains topless. And as she looks at him, her head turns into his girlfriend, a nun from school, and eventually, his buddies. It’s actually pretty funny. And hey, nudity the whole time.
Porky’s is about a group of guys in the ’50s who want to lose their virginities in a time in which guys not only admitted that they were virgins, but tried to fix that problem “together.”
There’s a place called Porky’s, though, where a lot of the hot girls hang out and where a lot of the main characters are terrorized by the mean, fat, pig-looking owner named, you guessed it, Porky. As these guys awkwardly try and come up with plans to “get laid”, you get a pretty heavy smattering of classic, unnecessary, gratuitous ’80s nudity in between seemingly interminable expository scenes. So, of course, you rewind the tape until your parents know exactly what you’re doing. There’s no reason someone should be rewinding and playing a tape that often and that quickly unless they’re trying to solve the mystery of the Kennedy assassination.
The infamous Porky’s shower scene features a bunch of guys finding a hole that leads to the girls’ locker room, and kind of how you hope for every time there’s a hole in a wall of any bathroom, there were actually sexually attractive people on the other end.
Full frontal and backal (which yes, is a word, according to me) nudity ensues and a lot of teenagers and kids even younger than that in the ’80s saw their first entire human boob and/or group of women showering together. Many more would follow for all of us.
The notable part of this scene is that it was the first gratuitous nudity most people had seen in a really popular comedy (which, as a film, dragged on for way too long wasn’t even very funny). The whole thing was really just a vehicle for nudity and for a bunch of weird dads to take their sons to see a movie clearly intended for adults. This movie is at all memorable mostly because of that weirdly rapey iconic nude scene and also because of the rest of its awesome, not-as-rapey nude scenes (including one starring a young Kim Cattrall, who only gets hotter as she gets older).
This movie was largely nudity masked in “fun”, which was an awesome discovery for anyone who saw it and had the patience to deal with its pace. It’s kind of like when you pour alcohol inside a juice box or a Vitamin water and bring it into your kids’ plays or Disneyland or something. All of you do this.
If there’s one thing ’80s movies taught kids, it’s that if you invade a girl’s privacy or sneak a peak of her squishy parts while she isn’t looking, it is perfectly okay if you’re with your friends. Squishy parts. Remember that one. It’s yours now.
So Revenge of the Nerds, for those of you who were born after most of the actors’ careers had taken a nosedive, is a movie that takes place in a time in which kids were stratified: you were either a “jock” or a “nerd” or part of about maybe three or four other groups and that is who you hung out with every day. The end.
Nerds looked like your grandpa when he tries to dress up nice and jocks hated the idea of being “smart.” Nobody was happy. In the movie, the outcasts known as “Nerds” take revenge on their jock bullies and actually win over the hearts and minds of young women, etc. The idea of the whole thing was so ridiculous at the time that it was kind of a high concept movie when it came out.
Anyway, there’s a scene where the nerds sneak into the dorms inhabited by some pretty ladies well “out of their league” by society’s standards and proceeded to set up hidden cameras to see them change, which is insanely rape-y and horrible by today’s standards, but is more of a “boys will be boys” thing to do when you live in an 80s movie.
The scene is one of the most surprising turns that a comedy like this ever took because you really didn’t come to expect it from a movie like this. Hell, you didn’t really come to expect it from any comedies until around this time in the ’80s. There must have been so many outraged parents returning video tapes and yelling at the clerks <— sh*t like this is why Kevin Smith is famous.
Blame It On Rio is about two really f*cking horrible guys who bring their insanely hot daughters (a young Demi Moore and Michelle Johnson) on a vacation to Rio de Janeiro with them. After they catch their daughters playing topless in the ocean, one dad gets super pissed and the other plays with them, ends up banging his friend’s daughter –which is okay, because it turns out his friend was banging his wife the whole time. Demi Moore kind of stays out of the whole thing. The hot girl (Michelle Johnson) tries to kill herself by overdosing on birth control (which you can’t even do) and everyone lives happily ever after.
A barely legal Michelle Johnson and a 22-year-old Demi Moore play on a beach topless and are then caught by their dads, but refuse to put their clothes back on. Whoever wrote this has some weird, awesome problems.
Blue Lagoon is a movie starring Brooke Shields, who you might know more recently as someone who had trouble loving her kids like a decade ago or as the star of that “Sex and the City” ripoff “Lipstick Jungle,” which really sounds more like a weird dog-sex island.
That was dark. Moving on, she got naked when she was 12 in one of the most controversial nude scenes in film history in a movie called Pretty Baby (which later had to be cut because it was apparently pretty porn-y and gross). Which I guess is also pretty dark. So, keeping in line with the rest of her career, she made Blue Lagoon when she was like 15… ish? She was born in ’65 and the movie came out in ’80, so do that math.
The actual plot of the movie is that some rich white people get shipwrecked and two of their kids (who aren’t related) have to raise themselves from the age of, like, five. They start growing things in weird places, and stuff gets super awkward and kinky until they have a kid. They look at each other the whole time like they’re on Molly and then the movie ends.
She pretty much spends the entire movie naked, topless, or barely wearing anything, which makes this movie super hot when you’re nine and when you imagine yourself living on an island with a naked girl your entire life. It definitely made going to the beach with your family more… challenging.
Wait, nine? That seems young. Ten.
One of the only times you actually see a boob, it’s a body double, but if you’re a kid and watching this and don’t know about the magic of movie boobs, then you’re happy as a kid in a candystore where they are also showing this film. It’s weird because the nudity happens when he takes her up to a rock and washes her boob for her while she looks at him, once again, like they’re both on Molly. It’s going to really do wonders for whichever ’80s child becomes Brooke Shields’s nurse when she’s super old and needs sponge baths.
Hopefully, that happens for someone somewhere *gazes at the stars.*