Laugh Incessantly at His Jokes
OMG, you’re so funny, like SO funny. I totally can’t stop laughing because you’re like, the funniest guy EVER! Ever ever ever! Hahahahahaha!
Leave Something of Theirs at Your Place
Are you leaving your earrings on his night stand? Forgetting to grab your jacket when you go so you’ll have a reason to come back? Why don’t you let the reason to return be…drumroll, please…
See what other crazy things may or may not work here.
Just sent you a Friend Request! How are you? So, how do you know [Insert name of guy you’re lusting after]? Also, can you tell me like, what he’s into? Where do you guys hang out? What’s his favorite sports team? Where was he born? What are his thoughts on marriage? Hello…hello??
Hide Your True Feelings
If you have something to say, say it. It’s crazy to hide your true feelings. Don’t be afraid to speak up. If it doesn’t work out, then it wasn’t meant to be.
Wear His Favorite Sports Teams Jersey
You gotta be stylish to catch a man’s eye! But if you can be stylish and happen to be a big fan of his favorite sport team, even better! That’ll be sure to get you some attention. Go team!
Pretend to Be a Dumb Girl
Glitter is like, my favorite color! I also like sparkle, shimmer and moon. Ladies, if you pretend to be a dumb girl to impress a guy or get his attention, then guess what?! Congratulations! You ARE a dumb girl!
Sending the ‘Accidental’ Text That Was Really on Purpose
Did I just text you how much fun I had last night? Oops!!! That was totally meant for someone else. Sorry!!! But anyway – Hi, what are you doing?
Create a Fake Internet Identity to Collect Precious Intel
Hey, Bro! Didn’t we go to high school together? Long time, no see. Anyway, what have you been up to? Are you dating anyone or is there anyone special in your life? Random, I know, but just curious.
Act Like a Damsel in Distress
Oh, no! My car won’t start! AND I’m lost. AND scared. AND cold. Can I borrow your jacket?! Acting like a damsel in distress can certainly get a guy’s attention. Men love to be the big heroes!
Seeming More Interested in Sex Than You Actually Are
Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk. If your kink factor is way less than you make it seem, don’t be surprised when you end up all tied up!
Show Up Unannounced at His Work
I was in the neighborhood! Thought I’d just show up without calling/texting/emailing you, completely unannounced to say HI and maybe check out all the other girls you work with and make sure I’m cuter than them, oh, and do you wanna take me to lunch?
Spread Rumors That You Already Hooked Up
That’s one way to let him know you’d hook up with him, tell people you already did! Girl, you so crazy!
Pretend You Have the Same Interests
You can always act like you’re really into what he’s into, but then you have to watch all those football games, go to all those car shows, and eat so many meatball subs.
Try to Get in Good With His Parents
Whoa! Leave the family out of it! If you think reaching out to his parents is the way to his heart, You. Are. So. Wrong. If he wants you to meet them, he’ll introduce you.
Tell Him You Had a Dream About Him
Your dream is his nightmare! Also, no one wants to hear about your dream, ever ever ever.
Fake Car Troubles
There’s nothing like a cute girl stranded on the side of the road to lure a guy in. Just be careful that that guy isn’t the toothless kind who wants to chop you up into tiny bits. Is it really worth it? Can’t you just create an online profile like everyone else?
Guys love to act tough, so if you scare easy, you might just jump right into his arms and heart. Lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my!
Sabotoge His Current Relationship
Spreading rumors about his current girlfriend’s whereabouts? You’re a sneaky one, aren’t you? Just remember to watch your Karma! What goes around, comes around.
Act Really Mysterious
Girls love to act really mysterious and hope they come off as intriguing and sexy.
Act Super Drunk
You think that acting a little more drunk than you actually are is gonna get his attention and you might be right, but it’s probably going to have the opposite effect than what you are hoping.
Get a Brand New Hairstyle
I heard you like red heads, so I totally dyed my hair! What do you think? Very Christina Hendricks, right?! Do you love it? Do you LOVE it??
Fake a Pregnancy Scare
Love child! Love child! Never meant to be! If you have to scare your fella back into your arms then he doesn’t belong there in the first place! And as soon as he knows you’re not pregnant, he’ll be celebrating “Not a Father’s Day” with Barney Stinson
Accidentally Pocket Dial
Are you “accidentally” butt dialing your crush so he can see how much fun you’re having? If you are…Stop it! You are a crazy person!
Lie About Your Age
The thing is, if it actually works out between the two of you, he’ll find out your real age at some point!
Start to Dress Like You
It worked for them, right? Eeee! Even if you’re dating a total ego maniac, I hope he likes you for YOU and your own style and not you for just biting his style.
Make Duck Kissy Faces
Yup! The duck kissy face does drive men crazy…but, chances are, not in the way you had hoped.
Tell Him a Psychic Said You Should Be Together
It’s in the stars! We’re “supposed” to be together. It’s our destiny! Um…. yeah, that’s pretty unlikely, and telling that to your boo will definitely make him destined to break up with you.
Leaving Cookies On His Porch
You were never “just in the neighborhood.” A random cookie drop-off can seem like a nice idea, but it can also be really pushy. No one likes it when you just drop by.
Send Him An Email from a Fake Account of An Ex
If that is your MO, you are totally psycho! If you want to find out if he still has feelings for his ex, just ask him!
Pretend Your Pet Died
You love animals. You love your guy. But mostly, you love attention! If you’re using Mrs. Fluffernutter or Whiskers to get a guy to like you, you’re not a great pet owner and I hope Mrs. Fluffernutter pays you back…on your floor.