What do boobs and toys have in common?
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall…
The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”
“You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
“Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
What’s the difference between oral and anal sex?
What’s a 6.9?
I went out dressed like a chicken last night…
Two deer were leaving a gay bar…
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
What’s the difference between your dick and a bonus check?
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A man goes to the doctor and says “I’ve got a problem, I have 5 penises.”
The doctor says “Wow, how do your pants fit?”
He replies, “Like a glove.”
Why do vegans give better head?
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?