The human body is a revolting, ever-flatulent mechanism that just doesn’t know when to quit. Most people romanticize the human form, lauding its ability to withstand great forces of trauma and its inclination to imbue the world with additional bodies. Those attributes are rather outstanding but the body does so many gross little things that any good deeds are overshadowed by the yucky ones.
Doctors, strange beasts that they are, have taken it upon themselves to study the corporal form. They see all manner of weird bodily functions and they’ve been known to commit some egregious medical practitioner blunders of their own. Who can blame them, though? Working on a body is tricky. In fact, it is no surprise that only deeply disturbed clinicians are able to do their jobs faultlessly. Some of the most treacherous serial killers were also trained and practicing doctors. Disturbing yes but also somewhat explicable.
A few brave doctors have aligned on Reddit. They’re sharing stories about the gross things that supposedly awesome bodies do all the time. Perhaps you’ll reevaluate your stance on body positivity after you read the following gripes.
The Heart Can Recognize People From Miles Away
“Our hearts generate an electric field a few times stronger than that of other organs and a magnetic field thousands of times stronger than that of other organs.
“I’m sure a lot of you have had a situation where you’re walking down the street and out of nowhere you’re suddenly thinking about a specific person only to bump into said person a few seconds afterwards. The heart basically detects the magnetic field of other hearts and recognizes it without you even realizing it. Thus, it recognized your friend’s magnetic field and sent signals to the brain and because of that, you started thinking of your friend.”
We See Everything Upside Down
“That optically, everything we see is upside down, but our brains correct this.”
Nipples And Ears Are More Related Than You’d Think
“Our nipples are directly below our ears. Test it out. It’s a straight line down.”
Tumors Can Dictate The Growth Of Additional Arteries And Veins
“Medical student here. While there are countless fascinating things about the human body, one of the coolest things I’ve learned so far is angiogenesis of human cancer tissue. The tumor will sense it needs more oxygen and nutrients and turn on the angiogenic switch which expresses proteins that will freaking make arteries and veins that attach to the tumor. It’s insane.”
You May Have Free-Floating Bones
“Lots of people don’t know they have things called “sesimoid” bones. They are bones that just kind of free float around… Lots of people have them in the joints by their thumbs, the back of their knees, and even in the bottom of your toes.”
Your Brain Chooses Not To See Certain Things
“We are always seeing our own nose, but our brain edits it out.”
Your Body Can Have Duplicate Ureters
“You can have random extra bits that aren’t really a problem and not particularly abnormal like accessory spleens or duplicate ureters.”
It’s Easy To Lose Things In Your Butt
“Your assh*le (specifically the colon) is really good at suction. Take caution when shoving something up it.”
There’s Always Poo Just Chilling In Your Body
“How much poo you have in your bowel at any given time. We’re all just walking around with heaps of poo in our intestines all day every day.
“Also, the gastrointestinal tract is technically outside of the body.”
Veins Can Regrow On Their Own
“If you tie off a vein, your body will grow a new one to restore circulation.”
Calcium Can Attach To Your Skeleton And Become Bone
“If there’s too much calcium in your blood for whatever reason (sometimes phosphorous leeches it out of your bones in the event of kidney failure) it will collect in certain places on your skeleton and become bone. It’s called heterotopic ossification. It can form in your joints and lock them, and you have to break it to regain range of motion. They can also form painful bone spurs that poke you from the inside.”
The Liver Can Grow Back After Being Cut
“The liver is capable of regenerating. If a portion is cut it will regenerate.”
Even Dead People Fart
“You can’t hold your farts back once you are dead. Go butt plugs!”
The Body Has Particular Cravings
“Your body sends you signals when it’s in distress. Listen to it and what it wants. If you’re craving unhealthy foods, it’s a sign your body wants a specific food group that you haven’t been eating.”
There Are Hundreds Of Bacteria In Every Body
“For every one human cell there are an estimated 10 microorganisms [bacteria, fungus, etc.].”