The 25 Funniest Anti-Jokes

Anti-jokes (classified under the heading “Anti-Humor“) are forms of ironic or indirect humor that are intentionally designed to not fulfill traditional expectations for “comedy.” Instead, anti-jokes are often funny to the listener because of their purposeful ambiguity, lack of sense or because they upset and distort conventions of joke-telling.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Where’s my tractor?
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
The Holocaust.
What did one Japanese man say to the other?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
I don’t know. I can’t speak Japanese.
Why didn’t Johnny ride his bike to school?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Both of his legs were amputated. He can’t ride a bike ever again.
What do you call a Jewish cop?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Officer
A guy walks into a bar…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Which is unfortunate because he has a drinking problem.
Why did the Catholic priest get sent to jail?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Tax evasion.
Why was six afraid of seven?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
What is a vampire’s favorite dessert?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Vampires aren’t real.
Roses are red, violets are blue…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
I have Alzheimer’s Disease, Cheese on toast
What do you call someone who kills a black person?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Murderer
What do an elephant and a grape have in common?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
One of them is purple.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
It doesn’t really matter, because it’s just a fish and doesn’t understand the idea of having a name.
Your Mama is so old…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
She is probably going to die pretty soon.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
And he’s greeted with great respect, because he’s such a talented actor.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Nothing. Fingers can’t talk.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
A blonde is a human woman and bowling balls are inanimate objects used in the sport of bowling.
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Legally, bars in America have to serve people of all religions.
What’s black and blue and red all over?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Due to the infinite nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
I’m worried that you’re in an abusive relationship and I think you should seek help.
Ahmed walks into Abbar…
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
So what? You have AIDS.
When is a door not a door?
The  25 Funniest Anti-Jokes
When it is half-open.