The 25 Funniest Anti-Jokes

Anti-jokes (classified under the heading “Anti-Humor“) are forms of ironic or indirect humor that are intentionally designed to not fulfill traditional expectations for “comedy.” Instead, anti-jokes are often funny to the listener because of their purposeful ambiguity, lack of sense or because they upset and distort conventions of joke-telling.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where’s my tractor?
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
What did one Japanese man say to the other?
I don’t know. I can’t speak Japanese.
Why didn’t Johnny ride his bike to school?
Both of his legs were amputated. He can’t ride a bike ever again.
What do you call a Jewish cop?
Officer
A guy walks into a bar…
Which is unfortunate because he has a drinking problem.
Why did the Catholic priest get sent to jail?
Tax evasion.
Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
What is a vampire’s favorite dessert?
Vampires aren’t real.
Roses are red, violets are blue…
I have Alzheimer’s Disease, Cheese on toast
What do you call someone who kills a black person?
Murderer
What do an elephant and a grape have in common?
One of them is purple.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
It doesn’t really matter, because it’s just a fish and doesn’t understand the idea of having a name.
Your Mama is so old…
She is probably going to die pretty soon.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar…
And he’s greeted with great respect, because he’s such a talented actor.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
Nothing. Fingers can’t talk.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A blonde is a human woman and bowling balls are inanimate objects used in the sport of bowling.
A man walks into a library to get a book on suicide…
The librarian says “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
Legally, bars in America have to serve people of all religions.
What’s black and blue and red all over?
Due to the infinite nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
I’m worried that you’re in an abusive relationship and I think you should seek help.
Ahmed walks into Abbar…
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
So what? You have AIDS.
When is a door not a door?
When it is half-open.