Santa Jokes

After spending years on the naughty list this is an attempt to finally hit back at that ancient snowy overlord the only way that exists, with a list of killer jokes about the fat man him self. Hope you’re ready for some hot fire Santa Claus. This year instead of cookies and milk, leave Sinterklaas your favorite jokes from our list of funny Santa one liners and show him who’s boss. If you’re afraid to end up on Santa’s naughty list, you can just enjoy this list of jokes about Santa in the privacy of your own holiday nook over a mug of eggnog. Santa Claus jokes!
If forced to choose our favorite holiday sprite, I’d choose Krampus, the child eating, switch carrying demon from Scandinavia, he seems cool. Not like that bozo with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Even if I can’t get to Norway in time for , I’d like to get in the Krampus spirit by telling funny while sipping at a warm cup of apple cider. Being naughty never felt so good. After working on this list of funny jokes about Santa Claus, I think I’ve figured out how Father thinks. You can consider this our naughty list. After you check out this list of Santa jokes, try a few out at your next party and prepare to bring the guests to their knees…with laughter.

 What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
Go to a “re-tail” shop for a new one.

 Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed.

 What’s red & white and red & white and red & white?
Santa rolling down a hill!

 Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy.

 What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosty snowflakes

 Where does Santa stay when he’s on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel.

 What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.


Christmas Joke with Superman

 

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.

 What kind of music do elves like best?
“Wrap” music!

 What’s a good holiday tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

 What happens if you accidentally eat a Christmas decoration??
You get “Tinsel”-itis!

 Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

 What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? 
A puddle

 Why are elves so depressed?
Because they have low elf esteem.

 What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic

 What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

 What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!