It’s the 21st century and everyone is on their phones all the time. Look out your window, everything that you see has been Instagrammed. See that dog? It’s on Instagram. That stop sign? You better believe it’s on Instagram, with the Valencia filter. Despite all the samey looking stuff that’s on the smartphone photo app, there are SO MANY clichés that won’t die no matter how many times we pray for their quick deaths. Take a break from scrolling through your phone for a few minutes and enjoy this definitive list of the most annoying Instagram clichés.
Here are some photos that aren’t over done on Instagram: car crashes, people doing jumping jacks, chain fights, high five parties, space ship fires. Those are the things that should be clogging out Instagram feeds, not garbage like cupcakes and sunsets and inspirational quotes. Seriously, if we see another sunset on Instagram we’re going to throw our phones in the river while screaming into the ether. That probably won’t help anything but it might feel good.
If you go through this list of annoying Instagram clichés that you are just plain sick of seeing all over your social media feeds, know that you have the power to make change. Upvote the worst kinds of Instagram pictures and help show the Instagram community that you are just plain sick of seeing vignettes of airplane wings and legs that are maybe hot dogs.
Please stop posting Instagram photos of your fav Starbucks beverage. We can all go there, most of us probably work there. Posting a photo of a caramel macchiato (with extra caramel and whipped cream, LOL!) is like posting a picture of a pile of dirt.
The only thing that a workout selfie proves is that you own a camera phone and work out clothes.
Hot Dog Legs
We don’t want to look at your filtered legs hanging out at the beach while we’re in an office bored out of our minds. How about a #nofilter shot of you working for once?
The Brunch Shot
We don’t have time for your #BRUNCHLIFE! We’re busy and the thought of wasting time on a Saturday morning is terrifying.
You are not studying. You’ve been messing with your phone for like thirty minutes right there in the library.
The Mirror Selfie
Yo. We know what you look like, we don’t need to see your duck face in reverse.
Outfit of the Day
Everyone has an outfit of the day. Do you want to see your chic sweatpants and flip flops ensemble?
Let’s make a deal. We we’ll stop calling you a trash baby with an over inflated sense of self worth if you stop Instagramming your nails once a week.
The last thing we want to see when we open Instagram is an a quote written on a sandwich board, a Starbucks wrapper, or (heaven forbid) in your phone’s notepad. In fact, if we see one more inspiring quote we’re going to jump off a bridge made of pumpkin spice lattes.
If you promise to stop posting “no filter” photos we promise to throw you a pizza party.
Hardstyling does not make you hard. Or stylish!
All you’re doing is making everyone hungry.
I’m sure your friends appreciate it when you post screen shots of private conversations that were slightly screwed up by Siri. What a good friend!
Oooooh, a lattee fern! Can just any old coffee shop do that?!
We all know what cupcakes look like. It’s not like we’re waiting on you to show us our first viewing of this mythical baked good that we’ve heard so much about.
The Mighty Wing of an Airplane
It’s the 21st century, we’ve all been in an airplane. But good for you, getting that sweet seat right on the wing!
We get it. You’re very cool and you have a refined palette. We are just plebians who drink tall boys and sleep in a cardboard box.
Handwriting your Instagram post is the quickest way to let people know that despite using one of the most narcissistic pieces of technology, that you’re still in touch with your roots.
Over Filtered Sunsets
Unless you’re Don DeLillo I don’t want to see your Instagram photo of a sunset.
You know you’re just taking out of focus pictures right?
Picture of a Movie
There isn’t a better way to let people know your specific/very good taste in film than to take a photo of whatever really cool and obscure film you’re watching and posting it online. Extra points if you don’t have to apply a black and white filter.
Ultrasounds are not for the public, they are for you and your doctor and maybe your mom if she is curious.
“Whatever!” That’s what we say whenever we see one of you mutants posting another photo of cloud porn.
The Sneaker Hang
“Wow, don’t fall! Be careful up there!” Is the comment you would read on this photo if you hadn’t dropped your iPhone from up there.
Farmer’s Market photos on Instagram are exhausting. Why not forgo organic blueberries and sleep until noon instead?
Throw Back Thursday
Photos of Yourself as a Baby
Wait. So you’re telling us that you haven’t always been a fully formed, brunch-loving adult?!
Whoa, are you a superhero?!
Looking Up at Buildings
We’re not sure what so many Instagram users are trying to say by posting photos of buildings from the ground. “To our architecture we are but ants”? “What a nice pile of bricks”? “I went to art school”? There’s no way to know.
We love cute animals, but your dog isn’t the first to wear sunglasses.
Night time sure is crazy. The sun disappears, the moon comes out, and all sorts of little lights blink on to illuminate your view. You should probably never stop taking pictures of this rare phenomenon.
Geometric architecture is not exciting. It makes us think about going to work, and we HATE going to work.