The Best Military Jokes

The and on this list are for soldiers and civilians alike. This military humor will crack you up whether you’re in the Army, Marines, Navy, or Air Force. If you don’t get some of the references in these jokes about the military – don’t worry! Unless you’re in the National Guard, then you might want to do some research. From Army jokes to gutbusters about rabbits who fly planes, there’s going to be something for you to laugh at on this list. The only reason not to laugh at any of these military puns and jokes is if you’re in a foxhole behind enemy lines. Although if you get captured, some of these hilarious military jokes might be your ticket home. The United States Military is a collection of brave men and women from diverse backgrounds and lifestyles. We recognize that without their dedication to service, we probably wouldn’t have the freedom to write such silly things on the Internet. That’s why we’ve collected so much top-tier military jokes in one place. It’s what we do! Hopefully you can tell that we’re saluting even if it looks like we’re pointing and laughing.

What Do You Call a Soldier Who Survived Mustard Gas & Pepper Spray?           A seasoned veteran.

How Do You Play Air Force Bingo?             B-52…F-16…A-10.

Did You Hear about the Accident at the Army Base?          A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernals!

What Do You Call a Marine with an IQ of 160?      A platoon!

What’s the Main Mission of the Marines?             To make sure the Army never get their feet wet.

Which Month Do Soldiers Hate?                 March!

What’s the Difference Between a Fighter Pilot and a Fighter Jet?          The jet stops whining the engines are shut off.

What’s Long, Hard, and Full of Seamen?                                        A submarine! 

How Do You Knock Out a Marine Drinking Water?                         Slam the toilet lid on his head.

How Do They Separate the Men From the Boys in the Navy?           With a crowbar!

What’s the Difference Between the Army and the Boy Scouts?       The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.