The Funniest Jokes Hillary Clinton Has Ever Told

It turns out by can be pretty , even though she hasn’t been known as a big joker for most of her political career. During the 2016 campaign, most of the jokes Hillary has told are obviously about Donald Trump’s White House run, but over the years, she’s made light of everything from her love of pantsuits to wiping her email server before handing it over to the FBI. No matter how you’re registered to vote (or if you’re registered at all), you’re going to vote yes on these Hillary Clinton jokes.
Thanks to her reputation as a tough cookie on Capitol Hill, most people don’t find Hillary Clinton funny, but she (and her speechwriters) has some great jokes up her sleeve. Since the early ’90s, Hillary Clinton laughing has been a common sight in a number of campaigns. Not only does she zing her political enemies, but she’s also been known to make fun of herself and her family when she needs to show that she’s a regular person.
If you’re looking for an instance of Hillary Clinton joking, you’ll find so many funny Hillary Rodham Clinton jokes on this list that you’ll be chuckling to yourself in the voting booth no matter whom you’re voting for. Speaking of voting, vote up Hillary’s best jokes from the campaign trail and if you remember a specific Hillary Clinton joke from one of her speeches but can’t find it on the list, feel free to share in the comments.

Snapchat Is so Hot Right Now

The Joke: “You may have seen that I recently launched a Snapchat account. I love it. Those messages disappear all by themselves.”

Context: Whatever your thoughts are on Mrs. Clinton’s handling of confidential emails as Secretary of State, you have to admit, this joke is great. As you might imagine, after she made the quip at a 2015 campaign stop in Iowa, conservative pundits called out Clinton for ” lacking the charm” of her husband.

Chapter 11

The Joke: “[Trump has] written a lot of books about business, but they all seem to end at Chapter 11.”

Context: Clinton dished out this sick burn at a campaign rally in Ohio where she savaged Trump’s economic doltishness.

Maybe It’s Maybelline

The Joke: You’re won’t see my hair turn white in the White House. I’ve been coloring it for years!”

Context: Clinton has been dealing with barbs about her appearance since she was by her husband’s side campaigning in the early ’90s. In the past, she’s been defensive about being criticized for her looks, but now that she’s this close to the oval office, she’s got to appeal to as many people as she can, and if there’s one thing people love, it’s a self-deprecating joke about hair dye.

No, Trump U!

The Joke: “[Trump U] doesn’t sound appropriate, does it? I am going to use that more. Because if he gets anywhere near the White House, you know what he is going to do. He is going to Trump U.”

Context: In 2016 Trump came under fire for his for profit university, and for racially charged comments about the judge presiding over his case. Making fun of Trump’s much-litigated college is pretty much a no-brainer for Clinton.

You’re Fired

The Joke: “The ‘king of debt’ has no real plan for making college debt payable back or making college debt-free. He has no ideas how to strengthen Medicare or Social Security and, in fact, his tax plan would endanger both. No real strategy for creating jobs – just a string of empty promises – but then maybe we shouldn’t expect better from someone who’s most famous words are, ‘You’re fired.’”

Context: Boom goes the dynamite! Over the course of a political career that spans decades, Hillary’s gotten very good at laying out serious issues and punctuating them with a quick reference that can make her campaign stops feel more like an episode of MTV’s Yo Mama than a standard stump speech.

 

America: Brought to You by Trump

The Joke: “Just look at what he did in Atlantic City. He put his name on buildings – his favorite thing to do.”

Context: Most of Hillary’s summer presidential campaigning has been spent hammering home the fact that a Trump presidency would be bad for not just the American economy, but the financial state of the entire world. She dropped this zinger at a campaign speech in Columbus, Ohio.

Trump Wants to Drive America Off a Cliff

The Joke: “If Donald Trump were to get behind the wheel of the American economy, he would very likely drive us off a cliff.”

Context: In a variation on a common theme, Hillary hammered home that Trump’s success rate with his businesses isn’t so hot. The most interesting part of this speech is that is was given on the same day of the Presidential campaign that Trump sent out an email seeking extra campaign support.

Doctor Trumplove, or How Clinton Learned to Stop Worrying and Something Something

The Joke: “Just like he should not have his finger on the button, he should not have his hands on our economy.”

Context: Again and again, Hillary’s 2016 Presidential bid has underlined one thing: Having Trump in the hot seat would be a financial disaster.

Clinton: 1 Putin: 0

The Joke: “I mean, you can imagine the conversation with Putin? ‘Vladimir, you think you’d like to be president again?’ ‘I think I would, actually.’”

Context: In early 2015 Hillary appeared in Winnipeg and did a pretty spot on Vladimir Putin impressionwhile joking about how he secured his third term.

Even Hillary Has Bad Hair Days

The Joke: “I finally said, ‘Is there something wrong?’ He goes, ‘No, I was told when your hair is pulled back, you are in a bad mood.” [Then she said] ‘Well, actually, it’s a bad hair day.'” 

Context: In 2015, Clinton told this story about the Prime Minister of Bulgaria mistaking her judicious choiceto wear her hair back during a “high-level” conference.