The Most Dangerous Toys Ever Made

Every year tens of thousands of kids are injured by their consumer tested toys. Hundreds of thousands of reports come in and it takes a number of government regulated commissions and bureaus just to handle toy safety.

 When you think of classic toys from your childhood or your parents childhood you realize some of them were insanely dangerous (a few of those make the list here) but we haven’t learned our lesson from toys. In fact it seems like we’re inventing new and more creative ways to make them dangerous.

 In 2012, an estimated 265,000 children were treated for toy-related injuries in emergency rooms [source: Consumer Product Safety Commission]. This doesn’t even include the number of adults who were injured after playing with toys not meant to accommodate their size and weight. Toys can be dangerous, toys can be deadly. Read up and see what to avoid wrapping up for your little daughter/son/niece or nephew on their next birthday.

U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

The same man responsible for the Gilbert Glass Blowing Kit (and Erector sets too, but those are just awesome) was also responsible for releasing radiation as a toy for kids.

These Atomic energy labs came with three different types of LIVE uranium ore! And a Geiger counter just in case you wanted to measure the amount of radiation you were receiving.

Empire Little Lady Stove

Nerf’s answer to the Easy Bake Oven was somehow even MORE dangerous. These little devil could reach temperatures of up to 600 Degrees!

Most real ovens have a shut off of 550 degrees!

Gilbert Glass Blowing Set

When you think glass blowing what do you think of? Extreme heat? Sharp Objects? Molten Glass? Children’s Toy? Well in the 1950’s they certainly did, the Gilbert Glass Blowing Kit was all of those things and more!

Go ahead Timmy heat that glass to a malleable state (1,000 Degrees Fahrenheit) have fun!

Creepy Crawlers

Super hot trays of plastic to easily burn children? Check.
Imminent Fire Hazard? Check.
Plastic-y staining goop the consistency of syrup? Check.

Oh and the fumes emitted while mixing all these charming ingredients were toxic.

Aqua Leisure Inflatable Baby Boats

These boats seem like a great way for a parent to relax in the pool with their new baby, unfortunately the leg straps were prone to tear, allowing the poor defenseless baby to slip through!

They recalled them after nearly 30 infants nearly drowned.  It turned out Aqua-Leisure had been aware of the problem for six years before the recall and the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) fined the company  $650,000.

Lawn Darts

These are interesting because they seem so obviously dangerous. What part of throwing a weighted spike in the air and seeing where it lands seems safe?

It’s like Friendly Fire: The Game. (T he force of an original steel tipped thrown lawn dart was an estimated 23,000 pounds of pressure per inch, more than enough to pierce a skull)

Aqua Dots

These dots, when sprinkled with water, would glue together into any shape your mind could come up with. Cute, colorful, fun. Except that they were toxic when ingested and the glue actually metabolized into gamma-hydroxybutyrate. GHB, the date rape drug.

Kids were ingesting the date-rape drug from their toys. Actually that’s not true not were,  ARE, these things are still on the shelves.

Sky Rangers Park Flyer Radio-Controlled Airplane
These things blew up! No seriously they would blow up all the time. And, since they were launched by hand, a lot of the time they’d blow up in a kids hand or right next to their head
Moon Shoes

Mini Trampolines on your feet are dangerous, who knew? Many a broken ankle are caused by these beasts to this day.

The 70’s versions of these upped the ante further by making them out of many small pieces of sharp metal. It’s like a bear trap and a trampoline had a terrifying recreational baby.

CSI: Investigation Forensics Lab Kit

Sometimes the crime scene you have to investigate… is the crime scene investigation kit. *Takes off sunglasses*.

These kits were found to have asbestos, 7% tremolite, in their finger printing kits. An irrefutably known cause of cancer.

Zulu Blow Gun

This list could have easily been just small choking hazard item’s, every toy that features a small plastic item a kid can and will put in his mouth.

Now, when the toys entire purpose and goal is to stick a tube containing a small, choke-able, item in a kids mouth that’s when it gets obviously dangerous.

Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kids
These dolls had mechanical jaws so as to eat whatever they were given. But those jaws didn’t know the difference between food and say fingers or long hair… and they never, ever, stopped, chewing.
Easy-Bake Oven

Sure Easy-Bake Oven’s are dangerous but one was especially violent. This purple and pink oven was modeled after a kitchen stove and the way it was set up caused children’s fingers to get caught, trapped, then burned on the heating coils.

It didn’t just burn you, it trapped you and made you suffer through it.

Super Blast Balls
Remember these little guys? They were little balls that when crashed together would spark and loudly POP. So they were basically caps that you set off IN your hands instead of a cap gun. In fact that’s exactly what they were. Ow.
Bird of Paradise Slingshot

The consumer products safety commission (CPSC) was made for toys just like this one. Before the CPSC toys were only considered dangerous if they were made out of dangerous substances.

These slingshots just launched “”razor-sharp” projectiles across the room. Nothing dangerous about that.

Slip n Slide

In 1993, the Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a warning about Slip ‘N Slide use by teenagers and adults. The slides just weren’t long enough to account for an adults weight or size. The abrupt stop at the end, in some cases, could result in permanent spinal damage. At the time of the warning, one teenager and seven adults had become paralyzed or received neck injuries after playing on the slides.

[source:  CPSC ]

Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
This was a little cap gun hidden in your belt buckle. Lets think about that for a minute, not only is it a cap gun but it was one pressed up against your body and pointed at a very sensitive area. How did this get made?
Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper

You know that Choking Warning on every small toy, the one suggesting the age they think is appropriate and listing why, that’s because of this space ship. Back in 1978 a boy shot himself in the throat with the detachable missile on this toy and tragically passed away.

Toy companies have been printing that warning ever since.

Polly Pocket

The 2006 editions of the dolls had magnetized clothes and accessories so little girls could change their outfits and make them up all differently. Seems safe enough. Except that the magnets were small enough to eat, or to wear as their own fake magnetized earring or nose ring then accidentally ingest.

When two or more magnets gets into your system they try to meet, just like they would anywhere else, tearing through whatever tissue or organ got in their way.

Sky Dancers

Sky Dancers are great in concept: Cute little faeries that launch into the sky dancing/flying playfully.

In actuality they were projectiles that spun haphazardly around until gaining enough momentum to launch randomly skyward then Kamikaze down at dangerous speeds