For the One Who Wants to Have a Good Time While They’re Sitting Down
This “bouncy seat with a firm jelly dong at the center” is definitely more exciting than riding a mechanical bull.
Try it out for yourself if you dare, with the Groupon offer here.
For the Feline Lover
Let your cat lounge in style with this ultimate cat hammock, complete with an animal print hammock bed. Because why buy a regular bed when you can spoil your beloved cat with a hammock?
Get it on Groupon here.
For Your Single Aunt Who Needs a Little Excitement in Her Life
Come one, come all, step right up for the naked magic show! What’s better than a bunny coming out of a hat? This show will answer that question.
Get your Groupon tickets here for a limited time only.
For the Force-Sensitive Geek in Your Life
Yes, there is such a thing as a Jedi Academy, and yes, you can take lightsaber fighting classes there.
Become one with the Force or embrace your inner dark side with this Groupon deal.
For the St. Patrick’s Day Bro
For the guy who wants to show off his abs while he simultaneously scares you with a creepy leprechaun face, this Groupon special is the perfect pot o’ gold under the rainbow.
Get it (for a limited time only!) here.
For the One Who Wants to Drop It Like It’s Hot
Where to even begin with this one? If you want to pass the hot potato or drop it like it’s hot, what better way then with a literal potato? According to the description, you can, “Delight and prank your friends and family with an anonymous delivery of a potato that displays a personal message, such as ‘here’s a potato.'”
Get a deal on this custom, hand-delivered potato here.
For the One Who Wants an Otherworldly Experience
If you want to believe, look no further – because here’s their bold claim:
“What you’ll experience: fascination, disbelief, denial, and—like the Sixth Stage of Grief—eventual belief in aliens.”
Get up close and personal with the extraterrestrial and buy your Groupon tickets here.
For the Cold Beer Lover
“Holding a cold beverage is a leading cause of frostbite and a less embarrassing cause of frostbite to tell your doctor about than tickling a snowman. Keep extremities extra warm with today’s Groupon to Sküüzi.”
For the One Who Wants to Be the Best Pet Parent
Found in the actual description, under Features: “Holds cats, dogs, and DMV employees weighing up to 20 pounds.” WTF Groupon?
You can get the car seat for your pup, kitten, or DMV employee here, if you so desire.
For the One Who Has It All – Except for a Beard
For Your Neighbor Whose Dog Won’t Stop Barking
Get your exclusive pet reading (over the phone, because that makes perfect sense) here for a limited time only.
For the Escape Artist
What more challenging room to escape from then the Crazy Cat Escape Room? Also, what even is this?
If you really need it, you can find out and purchase your Groupon ticket here… may the odds of escape be ever in your favor.
For the Parents Who Want the Most Unique Name for Their Child
This isn’t yet available, but who wouldn’t want Groupon staff to name your baby? And for the low, low price of $1,000.
You can find this custom naming deal here.
For the One in Need of a Little Lift
Groupon is really, ahem, baring it all and taking a leaf out of Kim K’s booty lift book (minus the plastic surgery).
Get this booty-full Groupon deal here.
For Those Who Can’t Be Bothered to Grind Their Own Pepper
Pesky pepper grinder got you down? Behold the epitome of laziness – this one touch grinder prevents you from actually doing any physical work.
Get it on Groupon here.
For the Food Aficionado
Dine with a date in UTTER PITCH BLACKNESS. If you’re ready to spill food on clothes you don’t care about and risk your digits by wielding sharp utensils, then snap up this limited time deal, available on Groupon here.
For the Diehard Golden Girls Fan
What finer Groupon deal could you ask for then a Golden Girls drag parody?
Experience Blanche, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia like you’ve never seen them before and purchase a Groupon ticket here.
For the Sports Enthusiast
This “beginner-friendly hybrid of golf and soccer where players kick soccer balls along fairways aiming for super-sized holes” is the perfect gift for the golf and soccer lover in your life. Or it could be the worst idea ever.
It’s up to you to buy the Groupon and decide.
For the One Who Keeps Self-Sabotaging