Things Pokemon Go Desperately Needs to Fix ASAP

 

is simultaneously the best and worst Pokemon game ever. On the one hand, it gets people to go outside, wander through the countryside, get lost, and talk to strangers – just like in the game! On the other hand, the game is poorly made. There are a lot of problems with Pokemon Go and it needs a lot of love if it’s going to end up being anything more than just a diversion that people forget about really fast.

Everyone knows there are a lot of Pokemon Go issues, not the least of which are the Pokemon Go servers. The game has become a pop culture sensation, and the Pokemon Go problem fixes are simply not coming fast enough for ravenous fans. The Internet has been throwing out a lot of Pokemon Go hate because Niantic, the game’s developer, has been slow to respond to issues. These are the bad Pokemon Go problems that Niantic needs to fix, like, yesterday. Vote up the issues that frustrate you the most.

There Aren't Enough Pokestops Outside of Big Cities

Playing Pokemon Go in the middle of a city is a dazzling experience that will have you walking between landmarks and seeing hundreds of other people looking at their phones and doing the same thing as you. When you play Pokemon Go in a city, Pokestops are all over the place and you never wind up short on Pokeballs, potions, revives, or eggs.

Playing Pokemon Go in the country or even in the suburbs is a completely different story. You’re lucky if you have even one good Pokestop within walking distance and you’re going to have to hang around it for a while to top off your items and eggs. Niantic really needs to consider upping the number of Pokestops or making ones in sparser areas give out slightly better drops to compensate for how few there are.

It Drains Your Battery Super Fast

Pokemon Go is a glutton for your phone’s juice. Even with battery saving mode on, do not expect to be able to play Pokemon Go for more than an hour – and that’s if you have a strong battery. Niantic really has to step up and work to make the app less battery intensive.

Egg Hatching Is a Nightmare

Hatching eggs in Pokemon Go is absolutely nightmarish. Though walking 2 to 10 kilometers (about 1 to 6 miles) may not seem like a terrible prospect at first, it’s actually a bit more complicated than that. First, you have to keep the app on the whole time, which means you are going to burn through your phone’s battery, and depending on how hot your phone gets, probably also your hand.

Also, Pokemon Go is an app with the stability of a late-game Jenga tower that crashes with more frequency than a drunk driver – causing you to spend time wrestling with the app instead of hatching eggs. Finally, the GPS is touchy at best and will rarely register the full distance you walk. Make no mistake, when you set out to hatch your Pokemon eggs, you’re going to be walking 2+ kilometers for every 1 that the app registers. In the dead of one of the hottest summers on record, that’s just unacceptable.

Spawn Rates Are Crazy Inconsistent

Spawn rates in Pokemon Go are pretty inconsistent. If you’re near one or more Pokestops, you’re going to have more ‘mons than you know what to do with. If you’re anywhere else, get ready to catch nothing but the occasional Zubat or Rattata. Yes, this is to encourage people to go out and hunt for new Pokemon, but what it mostly ends up doing is encouraging people to sit on their asses as close to a bunch of Pokestops as possible.

Losing Pokeballs Is the Worst

Because Pokemon Go is a laggy piece of cruft with connectivity issues out the ass, sometimes the art of throwing Pokeballs is a bit like finger painting – not very accurate or detailed. This is why it’s a bit of a d*ck move that Pokeballs that don’t hit their targets vanish into the ether, never to be seen again. This is an awful, frustrating experience, especially when other problems conspire to turn Pokemon catching into a latency-ridden game of chance.

Pokemon Gone

Part and parcel with all of the latency, server issues, and GPS problems in Pokemon Go is seeing illusory Pokemon. Every once in a while players get to see Pokemon pop into existence on their map only for them to vanish back into the ether as unceremoniously as they arrived.

The F***ing Crashes

Playing Pokemon Go is like driving drunk: crashes are inevitable. Pokemon Go has app stability issues far beyond what is acceptable for something made by a professional company and absolutely galling for a game utilizing one of the most profitable intellectual properties in Nintendo’s fold. Pokemon Goneeds some stability patches, stat.

The Tutorial Sucks

The tutorial in Pokemon Go covers only the very basics of throwing Pokeballs and making your character and then leaves you on your own for the rest. Wanna know what different items do? Good luck with that. Want to know what the little paw prints on the Pokeradar mean? Google it. This is just a pain that takes away from playing the game. Pokemon Go really needs to do a better job of explaining what its functions are.

Screen Staring Is a Huge Problem

The core design problem afflicting Pokemon Go is that it is a game about going outside and walking around that insists that you have the app open, running, and in your line of sight at all times in order to get anything done. Pokemon Go desperately needs some way to let people know that there are Pokemon in their vicinity without them having to watch their phone screen like a hawk. Doing this will probably reduce the number of news stories we have to see about people chasing rare Pokemon into traffic, too.

The Curveball Throw Is a Scam

When you throw a successful curveball in Pokemon Go, you’re supposed to reap the prestigious award of an extra 10xp. Now, either Pokemon Go has extremely high standards for what counts as a successful curveball or there’s a bigger conspiracy going on here. Users have reported that no matter how amazing of a curve they throw, Pokemon seems to refuse to shell out those bonus XPs. Ironically, some players have reported catching Pokemon normally and randomly receiving the curveball bonus. So while you’ve been wasting your time trying to throw the perfect curveball, your points have likely been going to someone who casually flung a Pokeball at a CP10 Ekans from their work desk.

The Servers Are Always Down

It seems like no one anticipated how big Pokemon Go was going to be. It makes sense that Niantic’s servers just weren’t ready for the monumental wave of players that wanted in on the real-life Pokehunt. Still, the number of times the servers have been down is more than a bit ridiculous. Niantic really needs to get Nintendo to spend some of their money upping the server quality.