Back in the day, you had to sit at home waiting for your rotary phone to ring in order to find out what your crush was up to after your first date. Now, we have the Internet, which is a whole lot more incriminating. Facebook dating is certainly not for the faint of heart. If you’re looking for love, you might want to steer clear from making a few key mistakes on Facebook that might cost you that second date. Of course, we all know how obnoxious it is to update your relationship status too soon, but there are many additional Facebook faux pas that you may not even realize you are committing.
When was the last time you stalked your crush on social media? Even the stealthiest of Facebook sleuths have accidentally deep-liked an old photo from yesteryear, or accidentally sent a friend request to their crush’s ex girlfriend. Oversharing, humble bragging, and publicly fighting are all wall post crimes that can happen to you. Check out this list of online dating advice below for some of the main Facebook fails to avoid in a brand-new relationship. Vote up the tips that make the most sense, and be sure to let us know what you think in the comment section.
Friending Too Soon
This is the worst.
You just went on your first date and had an amazing time. You desperately want to see this person again. And you’re sure your date feels the same way. After all, you were talking and laughing for hours!
The minute your date is over, you whip out your smartphone and reach out to friend him or her on Facebook (or follow your date on Twitter). It’s the way of today’s social media-dominated world, right?
Wrong. It was just one date. No matter how magical and rainbow-filled it was for you, maybe your date was bored out of their mind. You don’t know if you’ll ever see this person again. If you weren’t already friends on Facebook, there’s no reason to take that step now. Plus, now you’ve just given yourself something else to obsess over: “Why hasn’t my friend request been accepted? Why is it taking so long? Did they even see it?!”
It’s even worse if your friend request is accepted, only for there to be no second date. Then you have to decide if and when to unfriend this person. Why put yourself in that situation?
If you’re not already Facebook buddies, friending can wait.
After a first date, you start to wonder if you’re the only potential paramour in your date’s life.
You start to see photos and comments on Facebook in a whole new light. When pictures are posted from a night when your date said they were too busy to see you, you start wondering just who the other people in those photos are. And why is there someone who always likes your date’s statuses? Sure, they could just be friends, but why is this friend so involved in your date’s life?
So you send them a message on Facebook, just to say hi. But they don’t respond.
So, you text them, just to see if they’ll respond.
But they don’t.
So now you know they’re getting snuggly with this stupid, serial status-liker, and you’re reeling over all the things they’re doing together that you’re not. And after three days of questioning, obsessing, doubting, and obsessing again over whether or not your date is even interested in you, you meet up again with your date. You’re trying to play it cool, but then you ask about this person on Facebook. They give you a vague answer, so you dig deeper. And deeper. And before you know it, your date confesses it’s a close cousin and you’ve made yourself look like a complete ass.
Now your c hances of a second date are completely trashed, thanks to your jealousy from a couple of Facebook likes.
Creepily Liking Old Facebook Photos
Jealousy isn’t the only reason not to scroll through all your first date’s old photos, though.
They may be public, but going through them and then liking a hot picture from 2007 constitutes the first order of creepiness.
Generally, as a rule, don’t “Like” attractive pictures of people that you find attractive and eventually want to end up in some sort of relationship with. That’s what all the creepy “Instalikers” are for. Your relationship with that person goes deeper, or at least it (hopefully) will. Leave compliments for when they dress nice for you in real life.
Not Untagging Old Photos That Make You Look Bad
You’re going on a first date, and you’re ready to make a good impression. So you get dressed up. You make sure your hair looks great. You’re ready to find love!
Except you haven’t cleaned up your tagged photos on Facebook.
What’s the first thing that everyone does before a first date? Facebook stalking. If you don’t clean up the detritus that’s littering your Facebook profile, the drunken photos and inane comments that you’ve accumulated over the years are waiting right there for your date to see.
No matter how well you shower, how closely you shave or how great you smell/look on that first date, you’re going to be your Facebook pictures at the end of the night. Their favorable memory of you will be fueled largely by the visual representations you have on your Facebook page. So make them part of your strategy.
No one wants to date a person with a set of dreadful toilet-centered selfies on her Facebook page, or someone who commented about how the movie Transformers changed his life. Untag the drunken photos and delete the misspelled rants now, before it’s too late!
And as a general rule, it may be a good thing to always keep those drunken pictures off Facebook. No one really wants to see you with your head sunken into the toilet.
Going Too Far Via Status Update
You’ve decided to play it cool and not friend the girl or guy you just had a fabulous first date with. But you’re still excited about the date – so excited that you have to share your happiness on Facebook.
This mistake can consist of posting a status update saying that you just met the person you’re going to marry. Or you may make the classic mistake of changing your relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship.”
You could even announce that now you understand the true meaning of love.
All of those steps are going way too far, because it was only one date.
There is no way that a first date equals you being in a relationship or finally knowing what it means to be in love. And even if you truly feel that your first date will be your husband or wife someday, you should still keep it to yourself, because Facebook updates are public! If your date sees your status change or update, there is no way they’ll want to see you again. Keep it to yourself, at least for now.
Desperate Comment Interactions
You may want to get the interest of one of your Facebook buddies. Maybe you went on one date and then nothing’s happened since. Or maybe you’re just hoping that they’ll finally agree to go out with you because of your charmingly flirty interactions.
Either way, you keep an eye out for status updates from your target and then do your best to reel them in. Whether the flirting is obvious or you try for an oh-so-casual comment along the lines of “You’re playing Call of Duty: Black Ops II this weekend? That’s so funny, me too,” these flirtation comment attempts are not as witty as you think they are.
If this person wants to go on a first date, or continue any kind of a romantic relationship with you, they’ll let you know.
Otherwise, nothing you can say via a Facebook comment will change their minds. Keep it up and you’ll just look like you’re trying way too hard.
Following everything your date does on Facebook
Say you’re already Facebook friends.
After the date, you write a quick message saying how much you enjoyed it. So far, so good. But Facebook has decided to show you when your message has been read, so you know your date got it.
When there isn’t an immediate reply, you begin freaking out. You then start tracking everything he or she is doing on Facebook until they respond. Yes, it sounds crazy, but many people do it (both male and female). Starting to date someone you actually like is quite literally a hunt.
Looking at companies, places, restaurants, and movies that your date has liked, you decide to like a few of the same things.
After all, it shows your first date how much you have in common! Now when you have a second date, you’ll have lots of things to talk about.
Of course, what’s actually going to happen is that they’ll see you liking everything they’ve liked, and you’ll just get blocked and unfriended, and there will never be a second date. Ever.
Stalking your date’s family
I know this is like .01% of you out there that would even consider this, and we all know you’re not a part of that .01%. But let’s pretend that you are anyway, shall we?
Say that you’ve restrained yourself and not ogled every photo or followed every status update or comment. There’s still another way to obsess over your first date’s profile. And this isn’t over.
After all, there are so many other people that your date is connected to on Facebook: friends, family, classmates, and co-workers. You decide to reach out to some of them, telling yourself that there’s nothing more natural than connecting with people on a social network. I mean, that’s what they’re for, right?
Except these are people who you have no other connection to besides a person you went out with once. There is no reason to friend them now.
Think about it this way: If this were real life, would you start popping up at the grocery store to try to run into your date’s mom, or ask how his cousin’s job search is going? If the answer is no (and the answer should be no), then don’t do it on Facebook. Especially after one date. They’ll tell your date about your strange friend request. And that’s when you get unfriended by your date.
Oversharing about your date on Facebook
You’re out on a first date and it’s going great. Better than any first date you’ve had possibly ever. Your friends would be so happy for you if they could see you right now. And wouldn’t it be nice to show that one classmate who ignored you in high school that you’re now living an exciting life, filled with expensive restaurants and romantic gestures, and they missed out by not going to prom with you?
Plus, this way your mother will see that you’re doing fine living on your own, and you are meeting people, and she should stop trying to set you up with her dentist’s kid.
To show everyone on Facebook how desirable you are, you decide to post a few details of your date. What your date was wearing. Where you went. How the movie was. You end up posting every single moment, step-by-step, until it’s like everyone reading your updates was on the date with you.
Hope having fodder for your Facebook feed this one time was worth it, because there’s little chance your date will want to see you again.
Cause if you did this, you just did something super creepy. People who come on too strong are rarely the ones who make it to the second date.
Too Much Info About Your Ex on Facebook
You’ve gone on a wonderful first date and avoided all the other mistakes listed here.
Congratulations! Maybe you won’t die alone.
But WAIT, your Facebook profile still has tons of comments and updates about your ex.
How the sex was. How badly things ended. How much you still hate your ex. In fact, even as you’re getting ready for this exciting first date, you can’t resist posting another comment complaining about your former paramor.
Even if your ex was truly a horrible person whose ability to annihilate love and trust equals that of the Aztec deity Tezcatlipoca, destroyer of worlds, now your potential new relationship knows that hook-up details, arguments, and any other interactions are fair game for your Facebook wall.
So try and cut those out altogether and you should be ready to go out on a date with anyone of your choosing.