You instantly thought of at least one person when you saw the name of this list: 15 Reasons Why You Are the Most Annoying Person on Facebook. (We all thought the same thing.) It’s that person that no matter how much you love them or how great of a friend they can be in real life, they are without a doubt the most annoying person on your Facebook. This is a list of the 15 things that make for the most annoying person on your Facebook. Luckily for you, you aren’t that person. No way… #OhHellNo #It’snotme #Normalfacebookuser
Oh, and you may want to make sure that somehow that annoying friend of yours on Facebook takes a look at this, too. Think of it as your good deed of the day…or an investment in you and your friend: Hopefully, you won’t have to deal with some of these annoying things that they do anymore, and hopefully they get a clue.
Arguably, each of these 15 things that make you the most annoying person on Facebook holds the same weight as far as the level of their annoyance factor goes, but we’ll leave it to you to decide. Vote up the ones you feel make for the most annoying person on Facebook.
You Can’t Get Enough of Yourselfie
We Don’t Care About Your Love Life
Newsflash: We All Know Your Life Isn’t So Great
You Are the Feed Clogger
Doesn’t matter how infrequently we log on to Facebook, it’s a sure thing that every time, you will be there, posting over and over again, clogging our feeds with your minute-by-minute updates of your pathetic life. Ever hear the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder?” If not, here’s a tip: stop posting about how cute your dog looks right now and go look it up. It’ll do wonders for you (and your relationships). How do you do it? How do you manage to always be there?
Oh, and btw… Have you noticed how people aren’t responding to your posts so much? They’ve blocked you from their feeds. So by this point, you could very well be oversharing in a vacuum. But it’s not too late: Try scaling back to posting once a week. Watch your social standing in real life improve in no time. Sure, you may go through withdrawals, but you will live. Til then, we hate you.
Your Emotional Outbursts
Omg, you were just at a party and your boyfriend walked out on you, omg you were just at the store and someone offended you, omg your teacher was totally such a jerk to you just now… You are a victim, and the universe has somehow wronged you. For some insane reason, you really feel strongly that the rest of us need to know about it– and not just the issue at hand, but a really, really, really long paragraph about it. Guess what, we don’t care. We hate you. You’re acting like a baby. Shut up with your rants.
Have you never learned about self-control? Give it a shot. Practice this exercise: If you really feel strongly about an issue, but know you may be emotional about it: Step. Away. From. Your. Facebook. Think on it for a day, and then decide if you want to share this issue still so badly. By putting some space between the issue at hand and your legion of fans, it removes the emotional element quite a bit… And please, if after a day you decide it IS still worth talking about, for the love of all things holy, try and keep it short and sweet.
We know, we know: You are the only person in our feed that really matters, but believe it or not, we have lots of other people we are trying to keep up with, too. You may be the center of your universe, but most of us have other friends to tend to as well. (We know this may come as a surprise to you.)
Me, Me, Me!
This is for the person that can’t stop talking about themselves. There was a point in time where neighbors looked out for each other and people would practice random acts of kindness to help their fellow human. You seemed to have skipped over that chapter.
Did you ever for a second think that maybe, instead of talking about yourself all the time, you could do some good in the world with this amazing platform we call social media? Organize a community clean-up, raise funds for a good cause, ask yourself what you can do to help someone else (not, always, what they can do for you)… Somehow improve someone else’s life. (And no, that does not mean that you should start oversharing your personal beliefs on how the world would be a better place if only we agreed with your personal or political beliefs on everything).
Give This a Try: Go out of your way to help someone else based on THEIR needs. This may come as a shocker, but it’s not all about you.
We’re Sick of Your Opinions
You Think You’re Cool. We Think You Need Help.
Clearly by your constant attempt to endorse something unhealthy: “I’m drinking wine all the time, I’m so cool,” “Hey, look at me smoking all the time,” “Hey, here I am standing on a ledge 30 stories off the ground. Don’t I rock so hard!?” You have problems. Truly. Your friends may not tell you this because they don’t want to offend you. But clearly you are exhibiting the tech-based cry for help and are seeking some type of support or endorsement for your self-destructive or risky behaviors. For real, you need help.
Stop trying to get everyone to support your poor choices, and instead spend some time researching how you can remedy yourself. Good place to start? Check out the ads on the sides of your Facebook feed. Ever wonder why they are all related to self help? Yes, the universe IS telling you something, and so are all the advertisers studying your constant info overload– who are more than happy to capitalize on your problems.
The Enabler: Potentially the Worst Kind of Facebook Offender
Ah, the enabler. OK, so you’ve already got that one friend on your list that you hate for being the most annoying– but perhaps just as equally annoying, if not more annoying, is that person on your list who constantly supports the annoying friend: We call this person The Enabler.
The Enabler reinforces everything the annoying friend believes. The Enabler likes all the annoying person’s posts, supports all their beliefs, says positive things about the annoying friend’s ridiculous or drunken rants and stupid selfies. What’s worse? The Enabler more than likely knows how annoying the annoying friend is but still shows them support for some unholy reason, be it out of insecurity or fear or whatever.
The Enabler makes the annoying person feel like they have an audience, thereby increasing annoying person’s confidence in posting more and more and more– a fire from which we so desperately want to suffocate all oxygen. And you, Enabler, are like fuel for that fire, helping the fire to grow, bigger and bigger, and you are the enemy. And, therefore, we hate you, too.
You’re a Meanie
You’re the one who constantly has something snarky, caustic, or offensive to say about, literally, everything. You probably think you’re being funny or insightful or have a right to spew your venom because you had a rough childhood or some crap, but it’s hurtful, and we all already have enough tough stuff we are dealing with in our personal lives. We don’t need more negativity. So stop it.
Join an anger management group. The professionals there are paid to care about your issues. We aren’t. Secretly though, you wonder why no one wants to be your friend and join your whiny negative complaint sessions? Well, you get what you give. Try remembering what you learned as a kid: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
You Are An Addict, and We Know It
What you’re watching on TV, what you’re thinking about this very minute, your latest pop culture addiction, your omg megacrush on an actor du jour (tomorrow, it’ll prob be a boybander; next day, a sports hero), the six outfits you’re trying to decide between for the banal event you’re attending later tonight. Guess what? We don’t care. And you clearly have an addiction: Over-sharing on the Internet.
Think about it like this: You have a favorite music artist, right? You love their songs, but there’s a reason artists put out an album, let it run its course, and then disappear for a couple years before they release a new album. If that artist released a song every day, you’d get so sick of them, you’d hate their guts. Well, Facebook offender, you are that “artist.” And secretly, people hate your guts. So give it a rest. Go get a hobby. Step. Away. From. Your. Facebook. Get addicted to doing something productive with your life.
Foodie Overload: Chew on This
Pictures of what you’re eating for breakfast, lunch, dinner, an in-between-lunch-and-dinner snack, your late-night binging episode, the food you’re eating at a restaurant… You may not know this, but we think you’re really gross. Most of the time, we just want to tell you to stop eating so damn much, get on a treadmill, or buy a self-help or weight-loss book.
Do you not realize that we all already know what a steak looks like? We know it. Stop showing us. It makes us want to reach through our computer screens and beat you in the face senselessly with your disgustingly fat and greasy over-stuffed burrito you keep showing us. And we hate you.