What started as a very sexy afternoon ended in tragedy when a couple in the throes of passion on a hot day decided to make love against a window to keep cool. When the glass broke, they fell out of the window
together and died on impact. We guess that’s kind of romantic in a really morbid, awful way.
Side Piece Bites off Boss’s Piece
In a reminder of the dangers of automotive hookups, a boss and his secretary in China
were getting down to some car-based action in a park when their vehicle was struck by a van, causing the woman to bite off the man’s penis. In a bizarre twist, this was all caught by a private detective that the man’s wife hired to find out if he was cheating. He was, obviously, but not anymore!
Epileptic Woman Has a Mid-Sex Seizure
It’s all in the title, but let’s let this unnamed Reddit
user explain it in her words: “I was having sex with a new boyfriend for the first time,” she said. “I had a seizure.He didn’t realize what was happening at first and finished. To be fair, I hadn’t had a seizure in years and he didn’t know I had epilepsy.”
Humiliated Partner Accidentally Kills Cat
A reddit user tells a story
about one of their “friends” (i.e. this story about something that happened to them) who met a girl at a concert and took her home, where they decided to try anal sex, despite neither having any experience. It didn’t work, and there was a mess everywhere (you do the math). A few days later, the same woman came over again and while performing oral sex, she threw up all over the guy. After vomiting she ran out of the house in embarrassment, and while pulling out of the driveway she ran over the guy’s cat, killing the innocent critter.
Cursed “Penis Captivus” Draws a Huge Crowd
In early 2015, a massive crowd gathered to see a couple they believed had been locked together during sex by a witch’s doctor’s curse. See, a cheating wife and her young lover actually became stuck
due to penis captivus, a condition in which the woman’s vagina contracts too much and traps the penis. News quickly spread and by the time police arrived, over 2,000 people had swarmed onto the street outside the apartment block, eager to confirm the rumor that the woman’s cuckolded husband cursed his wife’s vagina.
Moving Car + Sex + Gun = Accident
In a story that could only come out of Florida, a woman having sex with a man she just met pulled a gun on the guy mid-coitus. The wrinkle here
: they were having sex in a car. A moving
car. The brief scuffle that followed came to an end when the car plowed through several yards and into a tree.
Sergei Never Could Turn Down a Bet
Sergey Tuganov, a Russian man with a lot of time and disposable income on his hands, took a bet with two women that he could satisfy them during a 12-hour sex marathon. In order to win, he did what any of us would do and chugged a bottle of Viagra. Well, the 28-year-old mechanic technically won the bet, except that he dropped dead of a heart attack immediately after.
Please, Please Don’t Put Pop Rocks There
In 2014, a couple with an erotic sweet tooth
found themselves in peril when they decided to put Pop Rocks in the woman’s vagina. The adventurous woman’s good time with fizzy candy began to sour when she noticed a “burning and itching” sensation in her genitals. The couple’s trip to Candy Land was delayed when they had to make a pit stop at the ER. At least they didn’t use Mentos.
When Having Sex in a Castle, Don’t Fall in the Moat and Die
A French couple decided to get it on, Medieval style, doing the deed on the walls of Vauban fortress. Unfortunately, they seem to have lost their balance
, falling approximately 40 feet into the fort’s moat. Their naked bodies, tragically deceased, were found in the moat, while their belongings were discovered atop the walls.
A Midsummer Night’s… Nightmare?
In Sweden they really go hard, especially a particular Reddit user who, after partying at the Midsummer festival (you know, the festival where you eat nothing but pickled fish) until the early in the morning went home with his girlfriend and began to 69, when his lady friend passed gas in his face. Keep in mind that this is gas that’s been imbued with the power of pickled fish and also that our Swedish friend had been drinking vodka all day. Naturally, he threw up all over his girlfriend. Better luck next Midsummer Festival!
Never a Good Time for a Lion Attack
This story is almost too frightening to be true, not because we’re likely to run into lions or anything, but because it’s almost like this couple stumbled into a monster movie. While having sex in a “bushy area” in Zimbabwe, Sharai Mawera was mauled by a lion. Her naked boyfriend fled for his life, but the poor woman wasn’t so lucky. Life lesson: keep it chaste anywhere lions could be prowling.
Man Breaks Penis, the Internet Recoils in Horror
In 2014, a guy from Boston was having sex
when he ” heard a snap, noticed a rush of blood from the meatus, had immediate detumescence, and had severe pain.” We don’t know what a few of those words mean, but we can guess. He was rushed to the hospital where it was discovered that he suffered a penile fracture, breaking the tissue in his penis. All’s well though: after six months he was ready to get back on the horse, so to speak.
A Broken Penis Extension and a Broken Heart
After Grigory Toporov had penis extension surgery, he took his new toy home and wanted to try it out, but it broke mid-coitus. That would be bad enough, but his wife decided then and there that she wanted a divorce, leaving poor Grigory with nothing but a broken weiner.
Sometimes, sex toys get stuck places, turning them from toys to health hazards. A man in England had a vibrator lodged inside of him for five days until he was finally convinced to visit a doctor. Allegedly he was too embarrassed to seek help. After finally speaking to a doctor, he immediately went into surgery
, but died of septic shock two months later.
Woman Shot in the Head During “Freaky Sex”
Eighteen-year-old Christina Meagher died in a Florida hotel room after being shot in the head by her lover, 21-year-old Tyrone Fields. The two had met only a couple days earlier, and decided to engage in what Fields called “freaky sex.” As part of their role play, Fields held a 9 mm gun to Meagher’s head. He took off the magazine, but forgot to remove the bullet in the chamber. When he intentionally pulled the trigger during sex, Meagher was shot. She was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital and Fields was charged with felony manslaughter.
If you can get a threesome together, more power to you. Just be careful about where you host your menage a trois. Don’t follow the example of Chung Yeh and his two friends who were makin’ whoopee in his car one night in Wenzhou, China. At some point, someone hit the parking brake, sending the car careening into a tree. Chung walked away without a scratch, but one of the women had internal bleeding and the other broke both her legs.
Condoms: Use Only as Directed
Gary Ashbrook had a fetish for inflating condoms with nitrous oxide and putting the gigantic contraceptives over his head while he masturbated. That’s fine. We’re not the sex police. But one night he went too far and accidentally suffocated himself. It’s not exactly something that happened during sex, but it’s definitely an awful thing cooked up with sex ingredients, so it counts.
The Old “Breaking Into an Apartment to Have Sex” Routine
After meeting a charming guy at a concert, Kelsey accompanied the mystery man home
, but when he apparently lost his keys, they were buzzed in. While they were fooling around, however, there was a knock at the door and he explained that they had to leave because he didn’t actually live there.
What’s Worse, Getting Caught by Mom or Getting the Talk Right After?
Reddit user SugarKane_13 had a really awkward day
, but here are the greatest (worstest?) hits. After an awful attempt at oral sex, she and her boyfriend attempted to have sex while his mom was asleep on the living room couch. Well, the mom woke up and caught them getting busy in his bedroom. He tried to convince his mother that they weren’t having sex by pleading with her to “check his d***,” but instead she sat the two of them down and had “the talk.”
Russian Politicians Killed During Car Sex
Oksana Bobrovskaya, a member of Vladimir Putin’s United Russia Party, was killed while having sex with her husband, Nikita Bobrovsky, in the back of their car on a cold, winter night. Despite being intwined with his wife, Bobrovsky was able to set of a grenade in the car as “payback” for Bobrovskaya’s cheating ways.
Bobrovsky had long suspected that his wife was cheating on him, and the fact that he had been out of work for several months was putting a strain on their relationship. The former special services officer for the Russian military allowed his paranoia to get the better of him, and ultimately killed both of them.The couple tragically left behind a four-year-old daughter.
A Hickey So Bad It Caused a Stroke
After a particularly hot and heavy make out sesh, a New Zealand woman was left with a massive hickey on her neck that temporarily paralyzed her
. Doctors concluded that the woman had suffered a mild stroke after they found a small vertical bruise on her neck near a major artery.
Beware of Falling Tombstones
A New Jersey cemetery proved too sexy for an unidentified woman and her male companion visiting the grave of her relative
in 2011. Somehow, they got from point A (visiting a loved one’s eternal resting place) to point C (sex), and their moves toppled a tombstone onto her leg, necessitating an ambulance ride to a local hospital.
One Minute You’re Having Sex, the Next You’re at the Bottom of a Well
It’s the oldest story in the book: you and your lover go out for a bit of copulation in the park, and then you fall 15 feet
down a well and your cowardly hookup just runs away, leaving you get hypothermia after more than 30 minutes in cold water at the bottom of a well.
Garbage Guy Won’t Stop Yelling at His Junk
One Reddit user recounts in full detail
the awful story of her night with a man whose room was filled with garbage. As if trash everywhere weren’t charming enough, the man couldn’t stop crying and yelling things like, ” WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” at his penis while they were trying to have sex.
Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
One chilly night in 2015, a Kentucky couple getting frisky in the car
turned the engine on so as to keep warm in 40 degree cold. Unfortunately, the car had a rusty exhaust pipe, and the lovers ended up dead from carbon monoxide poisoning.
We Want the Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth
After going home with a man she describes as a “redneck” one night, one young woman
felt something fall on her while having sex. She thought it was just sweat, but it turned out to be a tooth
. He then asked her to put it back in for him. She did, and this Princess Charming actually ended up dating her dental Cinderella.
On Valentine’s Day in Essex (the most romantic day in the most romantic city), a young couple inadvertentlyset their hotel room on fire
after lighting 15 candles to set the mood. Luckily no one was harmed and the couple will live to accidentally set off an atomic bomb next Valentine’s Day.
Look Out for the Hornet’s Nest in the Bathroom
In detailing her second sexual encounter, Reddit user bynL
described a lackluster evening of quick sex in a filthy dorm room. And when it ended, the guy handed her a dirty sock to clean for cleaning purposes. Obviously she declined and went to the bathroom to clean up and found a hornet’s nest, along with dead hornets littering the place.